Reverse the Polarity - Stay Positive

Learn to stay positive in a negative world. [pic]

I won't disagree if you say we live in a negative world. 

Everyday, there seems to be more bad news in the media than anything encouraging. Good news, if any, tend to be greeted with some skepticism and suspicion. 

Closer to you, your workplace, school or home may also be filled with negativity pits. You can fall in them easily.

Negativity is very contagious. It drains your energy and reduce the quality of your life. It is just like flu bug and you wouldn't want to catch it. 

Staying positive in a negative environment is a life skill. [Pic]

Just how do you stay positive in a negative environment? 

I do not have a quick fix and I would not promise that it is simple. All I can say is that, if you start doing something about it now, it will get easier. 

There are 8 tips to start you off: 

8. Conduct self-check 

Be aware of your own behavior. Are you participating in negative actions? Does your contribution to negativity help to fuel more negativity in you? Do you really feel good after indulging in some negative whining or is it just a temporary reprieve? 

7. Stay away 

If the negative comments are directing at other people, choose not to participate. Being away from the gossip pot, you avoid being contaminated. 

6. Be constructive 

If you think you can reduce the negative energy, stay on to help. Be positive. Your constructive comments can be empowering and make everyone around feel better. Be generous with praises but be genuine at the same time. 

Train your ears to hear positive things. [Pic]

5. Hear only the good things 

If you choose to stay on to find out more, stay focused on your main objective. You want to know what you can do about it rather than making the situation worse. For every negative comment you hear, ask, "how does it affect me and what can I do about it?".

4. Learn from criticism

If the negative comments are directed at you, accept it positively with a view to learn. Ask what you could have done to avoid triggering such comments. See "Go Ahead, Criticize Me". 

Criticism is not necessary a bad thing. [Pic]

3. Avoid self-blame 

Negative comments aiming at you can be demoralizing. You will have nothing to gain if you bash yourself up. Instead, look out for things you can do better. See "How to Feel Better When Feeling Battered ?". 

2. Beat the blues 

Negativity can hit you really bad especially during the times when you are still learning how to cope with it. Meanwhile, pick up some survival tips. See "Up Your 'Feel Good Factor'". 

1. Do the LOL 

Even negative stuff can be funny if you know how to see the lighter side of things. A little humor goes a long way. Sometimes, it is a fine line between 'making our job fun' and 'making fun of our job'. 

Your environment is as negative as you allow it to be. [Pic]

Keep negativity low and don't let it sap precious energy from you. Just like negative energy, positive energy can also be infectious. Start small and start wherever you are. See it grow and up the energy level around you and in you. 

Staying positive in a negative environment is a life skill. Learn it early. Your environment is as negative as you allow it to be.

"Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will." (Zig Ziglar)

Get Rich, Now!

Richness in life is more than just having money. [Pic]

What you want is not necessarily what you need.

You want the car your neighbor just bought; you want the watch you saw in the magazine; you want a pair of heels even though your wardrobe is bursting; you want to be able to have whatever you want...

Is that what life is all about?

In our endless pursuit of worldly things, we could have easily forgotten the essentials of life which are far more important than money. 

Discipline: A key ingredient to healthy lifestyle. [Pic]

There is nothing very new here. Let's just take a moment to remind ourselves:

1. Health

You need two ingredients to stay healthy: 1) knowing what the right actions are, and 2) the discipline to do the right actions.

For (1), rich resources can be found easily in this modern time. Few would have difficulties accessing basic information. It is 'discipline' or the lack of, that is often cited as the main culprit for an unhealthy lifestyle.

To stay healthy, work hard on (1) and work harder on (2). 

See "Choose Your Pain: Discipline or Regret".

2. Habit

A habit is a series of actions performed involuntarily and rather effortlessly. Bad habits are common obstacles in life. They can hurt your health or social life. On the other hand, good habits are empowering.

You need to kick bad habits and acquire good ones. Do not expect quick results. Start with being aware of your existing habits and take small but ceaseless steps to change your actions.

See "The Power of Habit" and "The Power of Small Steps".

Love what you do. Do What you love. [Pic]

3. Work

A rich life is no fluke. You have to work for what you want.

'Work' is more than just what you do in your office and you should stop viewing it as a dirty word. Take control and you will not have to fight any Monday blues.

The mantra for this is, 'love what you do and do what you love.'

See "Monday Blues - No More" and  "To Quit or Not to Quit?"

4. Gratitude

Feeling grateful gives you positive energy. On the other hand, complains and grouses are dis-empowering.

Whining is not a necessity but a bad habit. Kick it.

See "The Greatness of Small Things" and "Sometimes, I Forget...".

Gratitude makes you rich.  [Pic]

5. Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. Many go looking for it or simply wait for it to come.

The thing is, 'happiness' is here and now. This makes the phrase 'pursuit of happiness' rather ironical. It is not something you seek but something you 'agree' to have.

In short, 'happiness' is a choice. You would have to make that choice to be happy.

See "Happiness is a Choice" and "Happiness Quotient".

6. Wisdom

Get wiser through lifelong learning. 

In today's breakneck pace of change, you cannot afford to be left behind. The price of obsolescence is just too high.

Learning does not mean going to school. It simply means keeping up with things. It should take place during every waking moment.

You stop, you flop.

See "Lifelong Learning - My Way"  and "Learn And You Shall Be Taught". 

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. [Pic]

Finally, let talk about money.

In a practical sense, you cannot live a decent life without money. However, having more money does not promise a happier life.

No one argues about this. The problem is, as Zig Ziglar has put it "Money won't make you happy… but everybody wants to find out for themselves."

See "I Who Have Nothing".

Many people have been there, done that. You have the choice of learning from them or falling into the same pit.

Your life is as you live it.

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." (William Wallace)

The Greatness of Small Things

Get simple pleasure from nature. [Pic]

Great things do come in small packages.

That is the problem. They are often so nondescript that you tend to overlook them.

Your ability to appreciate small things in life is essential. It helps to bring you happiness and improve your general well-being. Such appreciation fills you up and leaves you with little time to brood about things that don't matter years from now.

Why live a life looking forward to amazing weekends when you can pick up little pleasures in life everyday, all the time?

The good news is, these small things are everywhere and often cost little or nothing. The bad news is, you may not see much of them until you make it a habit to notice them.

Little things can be awesome. [Source]

Neil Pasricha was going through a rough patch in life when he started his blog, '1000 Awesome Things'. He began to write about 'the free, easy little joys that make life sweet'. That had made him feel better.

His blog must have made his readers feel great too for it now attracts millions of hits. The posts have been compiled into 'The Book of Awesome', which has remained a top seller for a long while. The '1000 Awesome Things' site has also won the Webby Award which recognizes 'excellence on the Internet'. 

Pasricha started the site with post #1000 'Broccoflower' on 10 Jun 2001 . Since then, he posts an 'awesome thing' every weekday, counting down to post #1 on 20 April 2012.

It did not take Pasricha much effort to write about 'Wearing underwear just out of the dryer' (#981), 'Clicking pens with really strong springs' (#46), 'When you arrive at your destination just as a great song ends on the radio' (#910) or 'When a big chunk of ear wax randomly falls out of your ear' (#741).

How many awesome moments in life have you missed? [Pic]

Those are some of the 'no-big-deal's' in life which can make a whole big deal at that very moment in time.

Little sweet things happen to us from time to time. Few would even realize that they have come and gone, let alone savoring the moments.

How many awesome moments in life have you missed?

(Listen to Pasricha's heartfelt talk from TEDxToronto in which he reveals 'The 3 A's of awesome')

 Are you too busy for Joshua Bell's music? [Source]

Joshua Bell is a Grammy Award-winning violinist. In an experiment initiated by Washington Post in 2007, he became a 'busker' at a metro station in Washington DC. It was a cold January morning and Bell played incognito with his very intricate violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

For about 45 minutes, Bell played beautiful pieces which earned him fame and fortune. Of the 1097 people who passed by, only seven stopped to listen to him. The others? They were too busy with their daily routine.

Are you living your life just like one of 'the others'?

(Read the Washington Post article and watch the video on Bell's 'street performance')

Many little things are actually 'big things' in life. [Pic]

In life, there are many things we can feel grateful for. These are not the latest sports car you have acquired or your priced jewelery. They are just some small things.

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you make look back and realize they were the big things." (Robert Brault)

Allow the greatness of small things to bring you greatness in life. Learn to look out for them

I hope this article is one of the great little things you have had today.

Further reading:

"Sometimes, I Forget..." 

"The More The Merrier?"

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." (Mother Teresa)

Up Your 'Feel Good Factor'

Bad day exists only in your brain. [Pic]

Your days do not always go as planned. You need to know how to accept and handle that.

The easiest and most unhelpful response to a bad day is to whine. Most people do exactly that. Staying there and feeling down is not going to make things under control. You need to be able to feel better and move on.

Friends will tell you to be positive. However, there isn't a switch in you. You can't just up your positivity by simply turning a knob. You would need to know how to work on your own unique formula to turn things around.

Things around you are not responsible
for your bad days. [Pic]

As much as you blame your life for making you miserable, the real culprit is what goes on in your brain. How you feel about yourself is not influenced by your environment, your job and the society. Rather, it is what you think of yourself. Your days get better if you feel better about yourself.

Here are some suggestions. Try them out and whip up your own exclusive 'feel good factor' recipe.

10. Find your sources of inspiration

What inspires you? Someone? Something? Some sight? Some sound? In "Ten Things That Inspire Me", I shared where I draw my inspiration. You can compile yours too.

The day doesn't hold you down. You do. [Pic]

9. Stop wishing, start acting

"I wish..." If only you could just wish away what bothers you and drive away the blues. If only. But no, that cannot happen. Results come from actions, not wishes.

8. Count the right thing

Einstein once said "Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted." Since it is easier to count material possession, we often overlook the importance of some uncountable such as friendship, wisdom, respect, happiness and courage.

7. Feel the power of 'right now'

Go and get something done right now and see the results straight away. This is far better than feeling the guilt from procrastination. The latter will only worsen your blues.

Whatever must happen ultimately should
happen immediately. (Henry Kissinger) [Pic]

6. Believe in yourself

Self-doubt is poisonous. Very often, our non-achievement is a result of self-discouragement. When you keep telling yourself "I can't", you really can't. The converse is also true. Talk to yourself sensibly and positively. (See Self Dialog: Look Who's Talking?)

5. Shift your focus

Stop brooding over your misery. Instead, shift your attention to others. Think of someone you know and think of one thing you feel appreciative about him. Let him know your appreciation and see how his smile brings on yours too. Try it on your parents, your colleagues, your neighbors or a mere acquaintance.

4. Get your instant richness

Real riches cannot be stolen and you have more than you have ever realised. You are well aware of how much money you have how much more you want. But you may be missing out most of the real riches you already have. They are things that you won't want to lose but have taken for granted. Write these things down and put a price tag on each (this is not easy but just try it). Add them up and you will feel that instant wealth.

Surround yourself with happy and positive people. [Pic]

3. Connect with friends

With this, I mean connect with the right type of friends. Be surrounded by more positive people while your are nursing your blues. Let them spread some positive energy on you. Avoid those who are wallowing in the pit so that you do not get drawn in. You can always go back and help them once you are up and running again.

2. Eat healthily and exercise

This is a well-sold idea. I am sure you are a subscriber but you may not be practicing. The two has to go hand-in-hand. There is no use exercising a lot but eat to destroy all the goodness you have earned.

1. De-clutter

A less cluttered surrounding gives you an instant lift. You don't have to be ambitious. Get something done and feel the sense of achievement. You can start with your couch, closet, mailbox or backyard.

Getting yourself up when you are down is like
eating when you are hungry. [Pic]

Bad days are like hunger and sleepiness. They will come back again and again. You can't avoid them but you can learn how to overcome. It is just like how you would look for food when you are hungry and take a nap when you are sleepy.

Lastly, if you are experiencing a persistent melancholy, you may need help from a trained person.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” ~ Winston Churchill ~

Self Dialog: Look Who's Talking?

Self dialog is a habit. Get it right. [Pic]

Let's talk about 'talking to yourself'. There is nothing schizophrenic about what I am about to say. Read on.

You have self dialogs all the time and you are mostly unaware of it. It is no different from any other dialog you have with another. In this case, you are talking to 'another person' in you.

Are you aware of how you talk to yourself? [Pic]

Characteristics of self dialogs

1. Argument

You argue with youself to come to an agreed position. You do this because you might have too much information or too little. You are confused and you want to sort out the mess.

2. Agree to disagree

Self dialog may not always be conclusive. It may end with a disagreement and 'both of you' agree to come back another time.

3. Negative mood

You tend to do more self dialogs when you are feeling down.

4. Choices

We have many daily choices to make. Some of these are quick and easy but some take some deliberation. You have self dialogs when making choices.

Positive self dialog makes you happy. [Pic]

Self dialogs affect your happiness

Self dialog is about choosing your thoughts. Given the same circumstances, two individuals may derive different levels of happiness. The difference is the choices they make in their self dialogs.

There are always two sides of things. Talk yourself out to always look at the brighter side of things. It requires some practice before it becomes a habit.

One of the ways is to think of something important which you may have momentarily taken for granted. For example, your eyesight. Ask yourself "What if I lose it right now?". Remind yourself that some people are born without or may have lost it. Take a gratuitous moment and try to feel their pain.

Your ability to always take the more positive side of things makes you more upbeat and happier.

Negative self dialog makes you feel unwell emotionally.  [Pic]

Self dialogs affect your health

Very often, our physical disorders originate from mental or emotional causes. Put it simply, if you think you are very illl, you are very ill.

To some extent, positive self dialog makes you feel healthier. If you choose your thoughts and tell yourself that things are not that bad, your body would listen and the discomfort would be reduced. I suppose this is why placebo treatment is sometimes offered to patients.

Even if you are well and healthy, negative self dialogs can stress your days. Eventually, you body will protest as the stress level mounts.

Choose compassion over hatred. [Pic]

Self dialogs affect your personality

By changing your thoughts, you would immediately become a nicer (or nastier) person. Positive self dialog involves seeing things from the perspective of others. If you choose compassion over hatred, you are likely to behave in a more pleasant manner.

Interestingly, as a nicer person, you tend to be treated in the same way too. This in turn improves the quality of your life.

Self dialog is not about lying to yourself

Be honest. If you make it unbelievable, the dialog will be too unrealistic to cause any effect.

For example, if you have been having a difficult relationship with a person, it will not be convincing to tell yourself that he is the best person you have ever met. Instead, in your inner dialogs, focus on what he as done positively for you.

Use positive words in your self dialog. [Pic]

Choose your words

Positive self dialog is all about choosing the right set of words. Try to recall some of the recent self dialogs you have had. Check your words. Do they tend to be negative or positive?

You can learn to replace negative words or expressions with positive ones.

For examples:

Replace "I am old and tired. I am good for nothing." with "Compared to tomorrow, I am a day younger today. There are still many things I can do. I shall do them well and live today to the fullest."

Stopping negative thoughts begins with self-awareness. As you notice yourself saying negative stuff in your head, shout 'Stop' aloud. Do it often and you will become more conscious with your choice of thoughts.

You can read more about "Choose Your Words" posted earlier.

Practise positive self dialog.
It is never too late to start now. [Pic]

As you are reading this, you have been talking to yourself at the same time. What did you say? Need to replace any of those with more positive ones?

Food for thought. Positive thoughts.

"Wherever you are, whatever your age you're only a thought away from changing your life." ~Wayne Dyer~

You Are in a Top Ten List

Motivate yourself with your very own
personal 'top 10' lists [Pic]

I see 'Top 10' of everything and anything everywhere.

When a top 10 list of any kind is drawn up, it instantly earns some unexplained authority and respect. It can become so believable that it is unbelievable.

Sometimes, I like to goof around in Top Tenz just to be amazed by the weirdest kind of top 10 lists. Who would have thought of coming up with "Top 10 Ant Enemies" or "Top 10 Feral Children"? So bizarre.

YOG 2010 mascots, Lyo & Merly [Pic]

I chanced upon "Top 10 Worst Olympic Mascots" and I just had to check it out. I wanted to know if Lyo and Merly, our mascots for the 1st Youth Olympics (2010, Singapore) were in it. They were not simply because the list was compiled in 2008. But then again, why should the opinion of the contributor matter at all to me? 

There you go, I was lured by the charm of 'top 10' simply because someone said those are in the top 10.

The magic of 'top 10' does not stop there. You can use the 'top 10' phenomenon in your personal life too and see how it boosts your motivation and confidence. When you draw up a list, be sure to label it positively. "My top 10 favorite childhood friends" is definitely more helpful than "My top 10 most hated neighbors".

A positive personal 'top 10' list can change
your life perspectives. [Pic]

When you draw up your own positive 'top 10' lists, you would consciously remind yourself of all the good things you once had or still have. You would begin to feel grateful that your life is filled with goodness. Your attention is then drawn to people and things that encourage you and your mind is free from unhelpful self condemnation (albeit temporarily). In a way, 'top 10' list can be used as a tool to recharge.

Here are 10 examples of useful 'top 10' list you can compile:

1. "My top 10 sweet childhood memories"
2. "My top 10 favorite teachers"
3. "My top 10 most inspiring persons in my life"
4. "My top 10 moments I feel most proud of"
5. "My top 10 mistakes I have avoided"
6. "My top 10 inspiring movies I have watched"
7. "My top 10 lessons learned in life"
8. "My top 10 public figures I admire"
9. "My top 10 decisions I am glad I have made"
10. "My top 10 favorite quotes"

To wrap up, I shall share "My top 10 reasons for telling you the usefulness of top 10 list" ...

Because I want you to know that:

10. You should not just believe in any top 10 list.

9. Top 10 list can be lame or insightful, so go for the latter.

8. You can have your own personal top 10 lists.

7. You can use your void time and draw up a personal top 10 list.

... and if your personal top 10 list is crafted positively, it

6. can motivate you.

5. can be a powerful life enhancement tool.

4. can be shared to inspire someone.

3. can be your route to realize the power of gratitude

2. can shape your life perspectives

... most importantly,

1. You are top 10 in many ways and you just have not noticed.

All of us are winners in our own right. [Pic]

All of us are winners in our own right. However, we often make ourselves losers simply by choosing to think like one. Phrases such as "I will never gonna make it" and "I am good for nothing" are poisons to our minds. Be careful not to let them creep in your head.

Why not start drawing up your very first 'top 10' list that goes "My top 10 reasons why I am a winner"? I hope one of the reasons is ..."because I choose to read this article" and I hope it has helped you.

You might also want to read:

Sometimes, I Forget...
How to Kill Your Motivation?
How to Feel Better When Feeling Battered ? 

You Are Your Worst Enemy
Ten Things That Inspire Me

"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." ~ Carlos Castaneda

Get Yourself a "Cheer Up' First Aid Kit

How do you handle your moments of blues? [Pic]

Last week was a rather trying one for me.

Nothing unusual actually happened. However, there are times when all the planets are aligned, you feel a stronger gravity of life testing your endurance.

Such moments are commonly experienced. Many people would naturally indulge themselves in personal rants. Unfortunately, bitching around isn't the smartest thing to do. It may look like you are erasing your blues or lightening your stress. But, as soon as your ranting stops, you find yourself retreating back to your moody self.

It is alright to experience blues but it is not alright not knowing how to handle such moments. Friends would say "Cheer Up!" but few would tell you what that really means.

"CHEER UP!", is it really easier
said than done? [Pic]

My suggestion is that you prepare a "Cheer Up" first aid kit. Just like the one in your cabinet, this 'first aid kit' should contain a slew of reliefs and treatments. You wouldn't want to start looking for bandages after you get a cut. Be ready.

The next time your are having a down moment, a bad day or a moody week, turn to your carefully prepared kit and get some help. However, if you need more than temporary or symptomatic reliefs, turn to the professionally trained people for help. You probably need to do more than just 'cheering up'.

Here are some of the stuff I have in my "Cheer Up" first aid kit. Prepare one for yourself: 

1. Listen to favorite music. [See 'Music : My Multivites']
2. Sip a good cup of coffee. [See 'Not For The Insomniac' and 'Caffeinism? Nay!']
3. Take a deep breath.
4. Write with pen and paper.
5. Go for a night swim.

Dark chocolate: The happy food. [Pic]

6. Have some dark chocolates.
7. Read a few inspiring quotes.
8. Whip out my camera and shoot some pictures.
9. Write down three things I have done well.
10. Complete something on my to-do-list.

Watching little children play can be therapeutic. [Pic]

11. Watch little children play.
12. Listen to a moving TED speech.
13. Think of something positive and go over it several times. [See 'You Are Your Worst Enemy']
14. Visit my favorite restaurant.

15. Watch my favorite MTVs.

House cat Oreo. [Pic]

16. Pat our house cats.

17. Read an inspiring story. [see 'The Last Lecture']
18. Think of three good things that happened in the last 24 hours.
19. Say 'thank you' to someone who has been helpful to me. [See 'Sometimes, I Forget...']
20. Watch a happy movie.

Take a walk. Doing some light exercises
can improve your mood.  [Pic]

21. Take a long relaxing walk in the park.

22. Help someone in need.
23. Make someone laugh.
24. Play a musical instrument.
25. Doodle something humorous. 

"Tough times never last,
but tough people do." ~ Robert Shuller [Pic]

My list can go on but the point here is to show you how a 'cheer up' first aid kit may look like. You may find some of the items in my kit useful but you should customize one. If you have a dog, you can add 'Walk my dog' and if you find short naps helpful then pack in "Take 40 winks". How about "Read a gripping novel" and "Go through photos of happy moments"? The idea is not a sophisticated one and I am sure you are well able to draw up your own list.

Constantly review the usefulness of the items and find better 'treatment' to be included. You would have noticed that most of the stuff in the kit cost you very little or nothing at all. I did not say you have to walk down a shopping street looking for Hermès. In fact, material things are seldom effective as a cure.

The next time the going gets tough, just turn to your 'cheer up' first aid kit. Don't bitch around.

You might also want to read:
How to Feel Better When Feeling Battered ?
The More The Merrier?

"Troubles are inevitable but misery is optional." ~Joel Osteen~