How To Be A Boring Person

Are you living in the Kingdom of The Bore? [Pic]

How to be a boring person? I assure you it is not difficult.

Before I go further, take this quick question: On a scale of 1 to 10, "1" being "I am totally exciting to be with" and 10 being "I am a true blue bore", give yourself a rating. 

Let me show you how you can work yourself towards the pinnacle of being a totally boring person. Check it out:

15. Stay Uninformed

We are in an era of 'information overload'. Be kind and don't kill yourself. You don't have to know what is going on.  

14. Don't bother taking care of yourself

Go ahead and eat and drink yourself silly. After all, you only live once. Who has time for exercise?

13. Watch lots of soap opera

Oh yes, those mind-numbing, satirical, slapstick and long-drawn drama. What other better ways to kill time?

12. Be a creature of habit

Make sure you always eat the same food, do the same thing, shop at the same place and talk about the same stuff. Haven't you heard of the phrase "tried and tested"? 

11. Stay indoor

Stay clear from the elements. You wouldn't want to be drenched by the rain or tanned by the sun. Not to mention the wind and the snow, nature can be scary.

Are you a copycat? [Pic]

10. Be totally predictable

Why make it difficult for people around you? Just stay the same all the time. No one needs surprises in life, pleasant or otherwise.
 
9. Be a copycat

It doesn't pay to be original. If others have done it, just follow (ie copy). Don't waste your time finding new ideas and creating new stuff.

8. Don't participate in any conversation

Be gracious. Let others talk about anything they want. In turn, you would just talk about yourself. It won't go wrong and you stand no chance in offending anyone. 
7. Stay with your same old friends

They know you so well and you can continue to be yourself. There is no need to worry about social etiquette and they will love you just the same even if your right sock is pulled higher than the other. New friends are hard to come by. Don't even try.

6. Stay serious 

Jokes can be funny but they can also be dangerously offensive. Don't be goofy.

Sit on the fence. It is safer. [Pic]

5. Be a fence-sitter

Wouldn't it be safe to just stay neutral? You would offend no one. Let others make the decision and you stay agreeable. Everyone will love you for never saying 'No' to them.

4. Don't ask questions

Questions are dangerous. You may stumble on a taboo topic. Play safe and don't even ask questions such as "how is your day?" or "do you keep pets?"

3. Don't change your views

Be consistent. If others offer differing perspectives, stay firm. Don't be swayed by new ideas. Old wisdom is the best.

2. Don't read

Haven't you done enough of that in school? Who needs to read once college days are over? 

1. Don't learn new stuff

I am sure you are already good at your job. Keep it that way and there is no need to learn anything new. You wouldn't want to be a Jack of all trade and a master of none. After all, things are changing so fast nowadays, why bother to chase after them?

Check your 'Boring Index'. Bring it down. [Pic]

You didn't think I was serious, did you?

Seriously, am I describing you in any way? If you find yourself scoring high as a boring person, it is time to take stock of your life. I know it is not criminal to be a bore but you would rather not spend your one and only lifetime being one.

I wouldn't.

Check out articles under the Motivation label. They might help you bring down your 'boring index' to a healthier level.

Reverse the Polarity - Stay Positive

Learn to stay positive in a negative world. [pic]

I won't disagree if you say we live in a negative world. 

Everyday, there seems to be more bad news in the media than anything encouraging. Good news, if any, tend to be greeted with some skepticism and suspicion. 

Closer to you, your workplace, school or home may also be filled with negativity pits. You can fall in them easily.

Negativity is very contagious. It drains your energy and reduce the quality of your life. It is just like flu bug and you wouldn't want to catch it. 

Staying positive in a negative environment is a life skill. [Pic]

Just how do you stay positive in a negative environment? 

I do not have a quick fix and I would not promise that it is simple. All I can say is that, if you start doing something about it now, it will get easier. 

There are 8 tips to start you off: 

8. Conduct self-check 

Be aware of your own behavior. Are you participating in negative actions? Does your contribution to negativity help to fuel more negativity in you? Do you really feel good after indulging in some negative whining or is it just a temporary reprieve? 

7. Stay away 

If the negative comments are directing at other people, choose not to participate. Being away from the gossip pot, you avoid being contaminated. 

6. Be constructive 

If you think you can reduce the negative energy, stay on to help. Be positive. Your constructive comments can be empowering and make everyone around feel better. Be generous with praises but be genuine at the same time. 

Train your ears to hear positive things. [Pic]

5. Hear only the good things 

If you choose to stay on to find out more, stay focused on your main objective. You want to know what you can do about it rather than making the situation worse. For every negative comment you hear, ask, "how does it affect me and what can I do about it?".

4. Learn from criticism

If the negative comments are directed at you, accept it positively with a view to learn. Ask what you could have done to avoid triggering such comments. See "Go Ahead, Criticize Me". 

Criticism is not necessary a bad thing. [Pic]

3. Avoid self-blame 

Negative comments aiming at you can be demoralizing. You will have nothing to gain if you bash yourself up. Instead, look out for things you can do better. See "How to Feel Better When Feeling Battered ?". 

2. Beat the blues 

Negativity can hit you really bad especially during the times when you are still learning how to cope with it. Meanwhile, pick up some survival tips. See "Up Your 'Feel Good Factor'". 

1. Do the LOL 

Even negative stuff can be funny if you know how to see the lighter side of things. A little humor goes a long way. Sometimes, it is a fine line between 'making our job fun' and 'making fun of our job'. 

Your environment is as negative as you allow it to be. [Pic]

Keep negativity low and don't let it sap precious energy from you. Just like negative energy, positive energy can also be infectious. Start small and start wherever you are. See it grow and up the energy level around you and in you. 

Staying positive in a negative environment is a life skill. Learn it early. Your environment is as negative as you allow it to be.

"Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will." (Zig Ziglar)

Today I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything

Some days you just don't feel just doing anything. [pic]

It is simple to understand why "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars is popular. (Video below)

We all can relate to how on some days, we just don't feel like doing anything. We do not usually know why but we certainly wish we can do something about it.

There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. Even positive people need some 'pick-me-ups' sometimes.

I have my fair share of such days and here are some of the things I would do to pick myself up. Try some of them and devise some of your own:

10. Play your favorite tune

Music can alter your energy level. Pick something lively to spur your mood. Avoid any blue or sombre numbers. See "Music : My Multivites"

9. Take a shower

Looking dowdy makes you feel down. Get a quick shower and do something to make yourself look refreshed. Your mood will change for the better.

8. Work on your list

Take out your to-do list. Pick the easiest task and act on it. Your quick win will give you some energy to move on to the next task. See "The Power of Small Steps".

Get out of the house for a short walk. [pic]

7. Leave the house

Bitching around in the house can only make matter worse. Get yourself out of the house and do something else. It doesn't have to be anything ambitious. A stroll along a quiet lane can do wonders. See "Up Your 'Feel Good Factor'".
 

6. Exercise

This is too cliche, I know. There is a good reason why this appears everywhere. Do it and you will know why.

5. Change what you say to yourself

The last thing you want to do is to further dampen your own spirit. Say empowering and positive things to yourself instead of something that makes you feel less worthy. See "Self Dialog: Look Who's Talking? " and "You Are Your Worst Enemy".

Nature can be inspiring. [pic]

4. Get some inspiration

Read an up-lifting short story or watch an inspirational video. Such a shift of perspective allows you to feel grateful and energized. See "Picture Blog #4 : Still Complaining?".

3. Don't feel sorry for yourself

Wallowing in self pity is an indulgent behavior. Much time is wasted and nothing good comes out of it. Life does not beat you. You do. See "How to Feel Better When Feeling Battered ?" 

2. Get yourself a little "Me Time"

This is especially so for moms. Taking care of others begins with taking care of yourself. See "A Little "Me Time" Goes A Long Way".

1. Smile

It costs you nothing but brings loads of benefits. Here are '10 benefits of smiling'.

There are many more ways to get back on track. Sometimes, a simple cup of good coffee would do the trick for me. It takes you to know you best. Do what you can to "Get Yourself a "Cheer Up' First Aid Kit". 

Instead of Bruno Mars' "The Lazy Song", I shall leave you to listen to Diana Krall's "Pick Yourself Up". (Video above)

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again...

You might also want to read:

"Don't be a People Pleaser"

"Don't Depress Problems of Depression"

"Monday Blues - No More"

"Procrastination is Best Left Till Tomorrow"

"The Power of Habit"

"Act as if you were already happy and that will tend to make you happy." (Dale Carnegie)

Get Rich, Now!

Richness in life is more than just having money. [Pic]

What you want is not necessarily what you need.

You want the car your neighbor just bought; you want the watch you saw in the magazine; you want a pair of heels even though your wardrobe is bursting; you want to be able to have whatever you want...

Is that what life is all about?

In our endless pursuit of worldly things, we could have easily forgotten the essentials of life which are far more important than money. 

Discipline: A key ingredient to healthy lifestyle. [Pic]

There is nothing very new here. Let's just take a moment to remind ourselves:

1. Health

You need two ingredients to stay healthy: 1) knowing what the right actions are, and 2) the discipline to do the right actions.

For (1), rich resources can be found easily in this modern time. Few would have difficulties accessing basic information. It is 'discipline' or the lack of, that is often cited as the main culprit for an unhealthy lifestyle.

To stay healthy, work hard on (1) and work harder on (2). 

See "Choose Your Pain: Discipline or Regret".

2. Habit

A habit is a series of actions performed involuntarily and rather effortlessly. Bad habits are common obstacles in life. They can hurt your health or social life. On the other hand, good habits are empowering.

You need to kick bad habits and acquire good ones. Do not expect quick results. Start with being aware of your existing habits and take small but ceaseless steps to change your actions.

See "The Power of Habit" and "The Power of Small Steps".

Love what you do. Do What you love. [Pic]

3. Work

A rich life is no fluke. You have to work for what you want.

'Work' is more than just what you do in your office and you should stop viewing it as a dirty word. Take control and you will not have to fight any Monday blues.

The mantra for this is, 'love what you do and do what you love.'

See "Monday Blues - No More" and  "To Quit or Not to Quit?"

4. Gratitude

Feeling grateful gives you positive energy. On the other hand, complains and grouses are dis-empowering.

Whining is not a necessity but a bad habit. Kick it.

See "The Greatness of Small Things" and "Sometimes, I Forget...".

Gratitude makes you rich.  [Pic]

5. Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. Many go looking for it or simply wait for it to come.

The thing is, 'happiness' is here and now. This makes the phrase 'pursuit of happiness' rather ironical. It is not something you seek but something you 'agree' to have.

In short, 'happiness' is a choice. You would have to make that choice to be happy.

See "Happiness is a Choice" and "Happiness Quotient".

6. Wisdom

Get wiser through lifelong learning. 

In today's breakneck pace of change, you cannot afford to be left behind. The price of obsolescence is just too high.

Learning does not mean going to school. It simply means keeping up with things. It should take place during every waking moment.

You stop, you flop.

See "Lifelong Learning - My Way"  and "Learn And You Shall Be Taught". 

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. [Pic]

Finally, let talk about money.

In a practical sense, you cannot live a decent life without money. However, having more money does not promise a happier life.

No one argues about this. The problem is, as Zig Ziglar has put it "Money won't make you happy… but everybody wants to find out for themselves."

See "I Who Have Nothing".

Many people have been there, done that. You have the choice of learning from them or falling into the same pit.

Your life is as you live it.

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." (William Wallace)

Anger Management is for Everyone

Anger is a normal human emotion. [Pic]

We all get angry from time to time.

The scenes in the movie "Anger Management" make us laugh. However, it is far from funny if it should happen to us.

You may not have experienced such extreme emotional state seen in the move. But, whenever something or someone triggers that unexplainable 'anger button' in you, you would simply explode, just like anyone else.

Can you even control that? If not, can you at least reduce its occurrence?

Anger is not a right. Neither is it wrong. [Pic]

What is anger?

Anger is a normal human emotion. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry. However, things can go really wrong if you are unable to manage anger.

Anger management

'Anger Management' is often seen as therapeutic sessions by trained personnel for patients who are constantly suffering from angry outburst.

That leads us to think of 'anger management' as something for someone who is 'sick in the head' and having some serious troubles.

Not quite. All of us get angry and it is just a matter of degree.

Let's face it, our emotion fluctuates. Just because we do not need professional 'Anger Management', it doesn't mean that we do not need to know anything about 'anger management'.

Anger releases energy.
Learn to channel it constructively. [Pic]

Why do we get angry?

It is often due to unfulfilled expectation.

Your mind anticipates an outcome and when that is not matched with the reality, pressure develops in your mind. Certain chemicals such as adrenaline are released and a surge of energy goes through your body. You become 'angry'.

The energy has to go somewhere. When it is released in an unmanaged way, it can cause harm to someone or something. Alternatively, you can choose to suppress it and let the pent-up energy create a greater explosion sometime later.

The misaligned reality can be due to your own doing or that of others. It could be something within your control or it could be something totally out of your hands.

You need to know what causes you to be angry.

'Anger' is the creation of your own 'thinking'. [Pic]

The change begins with you

You are angry because you set rules and are slow to change them. The world does not evolve around your rules. Not everyone knows and understands your rules. Even if they do, they decide in what way they want to be bound by them.

Before you do anything to change yourself, understand that 'anger' is the creation of your own 'thinking'. It is not caused by people or things around you.

You cannot control how others respond to you and you cannot control mother nature. However,you can control the way you think.

When you control your mind, you control your life.

Anger is a manifestation of how you think. [Pic]

How do you control your mind?

You think with your 'mental muscle'. Just like any other muscles, you need to exercise and build them so that they become strong enough to work well for you.

Thinking is a form of conversation with yourself. If you tell yourself good stuff, you believe in them over time. The converse is also true.

In short, think positive. See "Self Dialog: Look Who's Talking?"

Thinking is a habit. [Pic]

Positive thinking is a habit

So is negative thinking.

Some of us are aware that negative thinking is not helpful but are unable let that bad habit go. We let ourselves sink into that 'pit of despair' and wonder why the world is being so unfair. See "The Power of Habit"

A good habit can be acquired and a bad one can be kicked. If it seems too tough to do so, chop the chore into parts and handle one bit at a time. See "The Power of Small Steps" 

A man is about as big as
the things that make him angry. [Pic]

Not everything is within your control

Don't be a control freak on yourself or others. Learning to let go is not as difficult as it seems.

Focus your energy on lifelong learning and try to "Be a "Better Me" Everyday".

Very often, you are the main stumbling block in your life. You may be over critical with yourself and mostly in nonconstructive manners. Read "You Are Your Worst Enemy" and see if you are being so.

While you want to learn to be more flexible with your rules, you do not want to end up living by others' rules. Set your boundary right and "Don't be a People Pleaser".

Start building your ability to manage anger today. Remember, "For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Related articles:

"Boost Your Self Esteem: You're Better than You Think You Are"

"Choose Your Pain: Discipline or Regret"

"Go Ahead, Criticize Me"

"How to Feel Better When Feeling Battered ?"

"Up Your 'Feel Good Factor'"

"Up Your Patience Quotient"

"A man is about as big as the things that make him angry." (Winston Churchill)

It's Time to Chill Out, Not Stress Out

Learn to avoid holiday blues. [Pic]

Tis the season to be jolly...no, wait, not quite.

Ironically, during this festive season, most people experience very high stress level. The reasons are aplenty. Here are a few common experiences and some of these may have hit your stress button:

1. Rushed - You are running out of time and you work feverishly to clear your work before your year end break.
2. Cash trapped - You have a long shopping list and you feel the strain on your wallet.
3. Lonely - The sight of family reunion, friends get-together or loving couples sparks a bout of loneliness in you.
4. Irritable - With all the hustle and bustle around you, you begin to feel an overdose of jingle bells and Santa Claus.
5. Brain drained - You run out of gift ideas but refuse to settle for the cliche.
6. Resentful - It's never your cup of tea to socialize and celebrate. You don't understand and resent all the excitement around you.

Life is not stree-free but you can do with less. [Pic]

There you go, you are stressed out and may have some of these stress symptoms. While life is never stress-free, you cannot afford to leave it uncontrolled.

There are many ways to eliminate stress and they are not new to you. Let me put some of those together and hopefully the list is a timely reminder at this time of the year. Revisit it whenever you need a nudge.

Understand what stresses you. [Pic]

9. Know your stressor

If you do not know what bothers you, you do not know how to respond. Spend some 10 minutes to think about how you feel and why you feel that way.

8. Check your commitments

List your commitments and consider how each of them add on to your stress level. Sort them in a descending order and delete from the top of the list.

7. Have a 'do it now' habit

Very often 'later' becomes 'never'. The more you allow your 'to-do' list to grow, the more you feel stressed. Read more in "Procrastination is Best Left Till Tomorrow".

Multitasking can be stressful and unproductive. [Pic]

6. Learn to single-task

If you have been duped to believe that multitasking is the way to raise productivity, think again. You might be one of the many victims who are so stressed out juggling from task to task at the same time. See "So Clever ! You Can Multitask !" and "Farewell to Multitasking".

5. Motivate yourself

Stop blaming others for the lack of motivation. Let's face it, it would have to come from you. See "Get Your Daily Motivation" and "How to Kill Your Motivation?".

4. Balance your calories account

How much must you eat and how much exercise do you need? I don't know! All I know is that you never take in more calories than you burn. I will leave it to the experts to give you tips on exercise and healthy diets.

Take time to feel grateful. [Pic]

3. Be grateful

Appreciating what you have gives you instant richness. Sometimes, you just need to remind yourself how much more you have compared to millions others and how good you are and can be. See "Sometimes, I Forget..." and "You Are in a Top Ten List".

2. Choose happiness

That's right, choose, not pursue. The thing about happiness is that it is always with you. If you want to be happy, just be. See "Happiness is a Choice" and "Happiness Quotient".

1. Quit your job

Hang on and don't jump in yet. I do not want to be responsible for a workplace exodus anywhere. This is an option albeit a drastic one but do it with your eyes open. See "To Quit or Not to Quit?" and you may not have to quit after all.

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. [Pic]

Our body is built to feel stress when danger is sensed. The Adrenaline rushes make our body works efficiently and it is important for a 'fight-or-flight' situation. However, when stress is sustained, our body will protest over time. 

Take control of your life and manage your stress level. The colors of Christmas are red and green. Not blue.

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." (William James)

What Happened to Your New Year Resolution?

2011 is ending in about 70 days.
Have you made good your new year resolution? [Pic]

Before the start of this year, I shared My New Year Resolution.

Many of you would have made new year resolutions at that time too. In fact, you may have done so year after year. Right now, we have about 70 more days to the end of 2011. Have you made good what you have set out to do yet?

Hang on a moment, I think I heard some people saying "What was my resolution again?".

One of the most common reasons for failure
is the failure to plan. [Pic]

Most do not meet their goals

If you have forgotten about your resolution or eventually fail to meet your goals, you are not alone. Experts say that new year resolutions are doomed to failure and 78% would have failed in their plans.

One of the most common reasons for failure is the failure to plan.

Many new year resolutions are ambitious but simplistic. They lack execution plans and do not spell any start or end point. For example, if you shouted out loud on January 1st 2011 that you wanted to quit smoking, you were not making a plan. You were merely making a wish.

You need real discipline to make
good your resolutions. [Pic]

Is your resolution a mere cliché?

Take a look at a top-ten new year resolution list. Usually, you will find personal health and wellness on the list. Many people make these new year resolutions year after year. It makes us wonder why they would ceremoniously make the same one without realizing that they have been missing it for years.

You need discipline, not mood swings

To make good your resolution, you need discipline, real discipline. Winners take discipline as a tool to guide their performance. However, most people see it as a chore, a painful chore.

The bad news is that discipline can be painful. However, the good news is, you can practice so that the pain lessens or goes away.

See Choose Your Pain: Discipline or Regret

What you think is what you get. [Pic]

Your thoughts drive your actions

What you do is a result of what you think. If you think negatively and always gravitate towards the downside of things, you will find yourself there most of the time.

In order to shape a positive mindsets, you would have to learn to do positive self-dialog. Each time you talk to yourself, you are in fact asking and answering a series of questions. The questions you ask and the answers you give go into your brain in a similar way how a programmer puts computing rules in a computer. Your actions and behaviors depend on how you have been programmed.

Say "I am doomed to fail" repeatedly, you would. Say "I am sure I will overcome it", you would too.

See Self Dialog: Look Who's Talking?

Get back on track each time you
derail. There will be obstacles [Pic]

Be honest with yourself

Let's face it, making a resolution does not magically make you lose 5 kgs. You would have to work on it. While doing so, you may constantly face difficulties and distractions. While I have suggested working on your discipline, I did not say you have to drive yourself up the wall.

Do expect to derail along the way. What is important is to come back on track. Set your mind to your end point and keep going. Sprinting may give you a good speed but you will lose steam before you get far. Taking consistent small steps can be more powerful.

See The Power of Small Steps.

The journey of change continues. [Pic]

The last lap

You have 70 more days to the end of the year. It is never too late to start working on what you have set out to do.

70 days is not enough? Who says you can't have more?

Your plan need not be compartmentalized by artificial time line. If it is more realistic to have more than 70 days, give yourself that. Start working on it today. Since when you always have to start on January 1st and complete by December 31st? Time is seamless.

My new year resolution was to have none. What I really meant was I will make a commitment to change whenever and wherever, not just at the start of the year.

Forgotten your resolution? Fret not, you can generate new ones. Nay, just kidding.

"Work is hard. Distractions are plentiful. And time is short." ~Adam Hochschild~