How To Be A Boring Person

Are you living in the Kingdom of The Bore? [Pic]

How to be a boring person? I assure you it is not difficult.

Before I go further, take this quick question: On a scale of 1 to 10, "1" being "I am totally exciting to be with" and 10 being "I am a true blue bore", give yourself a rating. 

Let me show you how you can work yourself towards the pinnacle of being a totally boring person. Check it out:

15. Stay Uninformed

We are in an era of 'information overload'. Be kind and don't kill yourself. You don't have to know what is going on.  

14. Don't bother taking care of yourself

Go ahead and eat and drink yourself silly. After all, you only live once. Who has time for exercise?

13. Watch lots of soap opera

Oh yes, those mind-numbing, satirical, slapstick and long-drawn drama. What other better ways to kill time?

12. Be a creature of habit

Make sure you always eat the same food, do the same thing, shop at the same place and talk about the same stuff. Haven't you heard of the phrase "tried and tested"? 

11. Stay indoor

Stay clear from the elements. You wouldn't want to be drenched by the rain or tanned by the sun. Not to mention the wind and the snow, nature can be scary.

Are you a copycat? [Pic]

10. Be totally predictable

Why make it difficult for people around you? Just stay the same all the time. No one needs surprises in life, pleasant or otherwise.
 
9. Be a copycat

It doesn't pay to be original. If others have done it, just follow (ie copy). Don't waste your time finding new ideas and creating new stuff.

8. Don't participate in any conversation

Be gracious. Let others talk about anything they want. In turn, you would just talk about yourself. It won't go wrong and you stand no chance in offending anyone. 
7. Stay with your same old friends

They know you so well and you can continue to be yourself. There is no need to worry about social etiquette and they will love you just the same even if your right sock is pulled higher than the other. New friends are hard to come by. Don't even try.

6. Stay serious 

Jokes can be funny but they can also be dangerously offensive. Don't be goofy.

Sit on the fence. It is safer. [Pic]

5. Be a fence-sitter

Wouldn't it be safe to just stay neutral? You would offend no one. Let others make the decision and you stay agreeable. Everyone will love you for never saying 'No' to them.

4. Don't ask questions

Questions are dangerous. You may stumble on a taboo topic. Play safe and don't even ask questions such as "how is your day?" or "do you keep pets?"

3. Don't change your views

Be consistent. If others offer differing perspectives, stay firm. Don't be swayed by new ideas. Old wisdom is the best.

2. Don't read

Haven't you done enough of that in school? Who needs to read once college days are over? 

1. Don't learn new stuff

I am sure you are already good at your job. Keep it that way and there is no need to learn anything new. You wouldn't want to be a Jack of all trade and a master of none. After all, things are changing so fast nowadays, why bother to chase after them?

Check your 'Boring Index'. Bring it down. [Pic]

You didn't think I was serious, did you?

Seriously, am I describing you in any way? If you find yourself scoring high as a boring person, it is time to take stock of your life. I know it is not criminal to be a bore but you would rather not spend your one and only lifetime being one.

I wouldn't.

Check out articles under the Motivation label. They might help you bring down your 'boring index' to a healthier level.

Today I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything

Some days you just don't feel just doing anything. [pic]

It is simple to understand why "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars is popular. (Video below)

We all can relate to how on some days, we just don't feel like doing anything. We do not usually know why but we certainly wish we can do something about it.

There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. Even positive people need some 'pick-me-ups' sometimes.

I have my fair share of such days and here are some of the things I would do to pick myself up. Try some of them and devise some of your own:

10. Play your favorite tune

Music can alter your energy level. Pick something lively to spur your mood. Avoid any blue or sombre numbers. See "Music : My Multivites"

9. Take a shower

Looking dowdy makes you feel down. Get a quick shower and do something to make yourself look refreshed. Your mood will change for the better.

8. Work on your list

Take out your to-do list. Pick the easiest task and act on it. Your quick win will give you some energy to move on to the next task. See "The Power of Small Steps".

Get out of the house for a short walk. [pic]

7. Leave the house

Bitching around in the house can only make matter worse. Get yourself out of the house and do something else. It doesn't have to be anything ambitious. A stroll along a quiet lane can do wonders. See "Up Your 'Feel Good Factor'".
 

6. Exercise

This is too cliche, I know. There is a good reason why this appears everywhere. Do it and you will know why.

5. Change what you say to yourself

The last thing you want to do is to further dampen your own spirit. Say empowering and positive things to yourself instead of something that makes you feel less worthy. See "Self Dialog: Look Who's Talking? " and "You Are Your Worst Enemy".

Nature can be inspiring. [pic]

4. Get some inspiration

Read an up-lifting short story or watch an inspirational video. Such a shift of perspective allows you to feel grateful and energized. See "Picture Blog #4 : Still Complaining?".

3. Don't feel sorry for yourself

Wallowing in self pity is an indulgent behavior. Much time is wasted and nothing good comes out of it. Life does not beat you. You do. See "How to Feel Better When Feeling Battered ?" 

2. Get yourself a little "Me Time"

This is especially so for moms. Taking care of others begins with taking care of yourself. See "A Little "Me Time" Goes A Long Way".

1. Smile

It costs you nothing but brings loads of benefits. Here are '10 benefits of smiling'.

There are many more ways to get back on track. Sometimes, a simple cup of good coffee would do the trick for me. It takes you to know you best. Do what you can to "Get Yourself a "Cheer Up' First Aid Kit". 

Instead of Bruno Mars' "The Lazy Song", I shall leave you to listen to Diana Krall's "Pick Yourself Up". (Video above)

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again...

You might also want to read:

"Don't be a People Pleaser"

"Don't Depress Problems of Depression"

"Monday Blues - No More"

"Procrastination is Best Left Till Tomorrow"

"The Power of Habit"

"Act as if you were already happy and that will tend to make you happy." (Dale Carnegie)

A Little "Me Time" Goes A Long Way

Moms, learn the importance of "Me Time". [Pic]

Moms, this article is for you...

We live in a fast-pace world and everyone seems to be busy getting their endless tasks done. Amongst all, mothers seem to have the widest range of chores. (Moms, say aye if you agree).

My mom was a homemaker, a business assistant (to my dad), an educator (despite her lack of education), a cook (of gourmet standards), the CEO, CFO and COO of our household.

I have always admired her ability to manage so much.

Moms fill their schedule to the brim - for others. [Pic]

Fast forward to my time as a mother.

Compared to my mom, I am more educated and have much more means to get things done. Somehow, there is just insufficient time to do much of what I want to do. I guess having more resources is not the answer after all.

Many mothers are in the same boat.

A mom's schedule

Instinctively, a mom wants to do all the chores in the world if she thinks they are helpful to her family. It is therefore not surprising to find a mom's schedule being filled to the brim.

Typically, something very important is amiss: "Me Time". There is usually hardly anything dedicated to mom in a mom's time table.

Set time for yourself and yourself only. [Pic]

What is "Me Time"?

For a mother, "Me Time" is the time taken to do something for herself and herself only. No children, husband or other family members should be involved. Even if they are, the focus should be on mom.

So, moms, "Me Time" can be spent for your enrichment, social network, health or spiritual wellness.

Why is "Me Time" important?

Even the best car in the world has stop at the gas station. "Me Time" is the time you recharge your energy. It allows you to put back what you have given to others. This is so that you can be ready to give more.

"Me Time" can be a simple walk in the park. [Pic]

What to do during "Me Time"?

Some find this a tough question for they have not had much of a "Me Time" before.

The answer is simple: Do something that is outside your routine and let yourself be surprised by what you might experience.

Here are some of the things you can consider:

• Call an old friend and chat
• Pamper yourself in a spa
• Have an afternoon tea with your pals
• Watch a play or movie
• Visit a museum
• Attend a health talk
• Read an inspiring story
• Do brisk walking in the park
• Write in a journal

The list goes on. If you don't feel like doing any of the above, you could just sit by the beach and watch the world go by.

There you go, "Me Time" is just time to do something simple for yourself. You do not need to rip your schedule apart in order to accommodate some of the above items.

Loving others begins with loving yourself. [Pic]

Why no "Me Time"?

If it is so easy, why are so many moms not giving themselves any "Me Time"?

Firstly, (1) they may not be aware of its importance. Secondly, even if they are, (2) they may not have the habit to do so. See "The Power of Habit".

With this article, I hope you are done with (1). It is really just a matter of acquiring the right habit to weave some "Me Time" into your schedule. Check your schedule now and slot in some "Me Time".

Taking care of others begins with taking care of yourself.

Do it now.

"Self-love, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting." (William Shakespeare)

Get Rich, Now!

Richness in life is more than just having money. [Pic]

What you want is not necessarily what you need.

You want the car your neighbor just bought; you want the watch you saw in the magazine; you want a pair of heels even though your wardrobe is bursting; you want to be able to have whatever you want...

Is that what life is all about?

In our endless pursuit of worldly things, we could have easily forgotten the essentials of life which are far more important than money. 

Discipline: A key ingredient to healthy lifestyle. [Pic]

There is nothing very new here. Let's just take a moment to remind ourselves:

1. Health

You need two ingredients to stay healthy: 1) knowing what the right actions are, and 2) the discipline to do the right actions.

For (1), rich resources can be found easily in this modern time. Few would have difficulties accessing basic information. It is 'discipline' or the lack of, that is often cited as the main culprit for an unhealthy lifestyle.

To stay healthy, work hard on (1) and work harder on (2). 

See "Choose Your Pain: Discipline or Regret".

2. Habit

A habit is a series of actions performed involuntarily and rather effortlessly. Bad habits are common obstacles in life. They can hurt your health or social life. On the other hand, good habits are empowering.

You need to kick bad habits and acquire good ones. Do not expect quick results. Start with being aware of your existing habits and take small but ceaseless steps to change your actions.

See "The Power of Habit" and "The Power of Small Steps".

Love what you do. Do What you love. [Pic]

3. Work

A rich life is no fluke. You have to work for what you want.

'Work' is more than just what you do in your office and you should stop viewing it as a dirty word. Take control and you will not have to fight any Monday blues.

The mantra for this is, 'love what you do and do what you love.'

See "Monday Blues - No More" and  "To Quit or Not to Quit?"

4. Gratitude

Feeling grateful gives you positive energy. On the other hand, complains and grouses are dis-empowering.

Whining is not a necessity but a bad habit. Kick it.

See "The Greatness of Small Things" and "Sometimes, I Forget...".

Gratitude makes you rich.  [Pic]

5. Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy. Many go looking for it or simply wait for it to come.

The thing is, 'happiness' is here and now. This makes the phrase 'pursuit of happiness' rather ironical. It is not something you seek but something you 'agree' to have.

In short, 'happiness' is a choice. You would have to make that choice to be happy.

See "Happiness is a Choice" and "Happiness Quotient".

6. Wisdom

Get wiser through lifelong learning. 

In today's breakneck pace of change, you cannot afford to be left behind. The price of obsolescence is just too high.

Learning does not mean going to school. It simply means keeping up with things. It should take place during every waking moment.

You stop, you flop.

See "Lifelong Learning - My Way"  and "Learn And You Shall Be Taught". 

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. [Pic]

Finally, let talk about money.

In a practical sense, you cannot live a decent life without money. However, having more money does not promise a happier life.

No one argues about this. The problem is, as Zig Ziglar has put it "Money won't make you happy… but everybody wants to find out for themselves."

See "I Who Have Nothing".

Many people have been there, done that. You have the choice of learning from them or falling into the same pit.

Your life is as you live it.

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." (William Wallace)

Beat the Spring Cleaning Blues

If new year spring cleaning is on your to-do list, read on.

Traditionally, spring cleaning (春节大掃除) is done before Chinese New Year to welcome the new season with a clean house. This marks a new beginning with the hope to bring good luck.

The next Chinese New Year is only a couple of weeks away (23 Jan 2012) and there are loads of preparation to do. Traditionally, this is also the time to feel stressed out. With the sight of messy rooms, dusty shelves and unkept Christmas decorations, you just hope that you have another month.

Spring cleaning need not be a hair-pulling time. Take a look at a few pointers below. I hope the list will lessen your stress so that you can welcome the Dragon Year with a jolly mood.

10. Spring cleaning - Outsourced

If for some reasons, you are unable or unwilling to do the chores yourself, consider outsoursing. However, many cleaning companies would have their booking list filled up by now. Note this tip and make your reservation earlier next time.

Reserve spring cleaning service early. [Pic]

9. Spring cleaning - DIY

The tips will be too long to be included here. Just google "spring cleaning tips" and you will find loads of information. The idea here is to work smart and not just work hard.

8. Have a plan

Draw up a plan on what needs to be done. Handle a few items each day and that will prevent a last minute panic attack. Very often, we feel stressed out just thinking about what needs to be done. Getting something done (no matter how little) brings on satisfaction and that helps to motivate you.

7. Have a checklist

In the interest of time, you want to be systematic and save effort. Have a checklist (see example) which you can use every year. Pick tasks based on the amount of time allocated for the day.

Plan spring cleaning tasks and handle
them systematically. [Pic]

6. Stay healthy

The tendency is to work doubly hard and if possible, into late nights. That is usually not worth the while. You may end up spending more time later nursing yourself back to health. Falling sick during the festive time means missing out all the good food and fun. Don't.

5. Fight procrastination

Tomorrow sometimes never come. No one enjoys spring cleaning (you know anyone who does?) but you have to do what you have to do. Put your acts together and throw your excuses aside. See "Procrastination is Best Left Till Tomorrow".

4. Be disciplined

Ouch! The 'D' word hurts. But you need that in many things and that includes spring cleaning. Many people see 'Discipline' to be a big enemy which is hard to conquer. Get rid of that idea. 'Self Discipline' is a collection of good habits which you can build. Read more in "Choose Your Pain: Discipline or Regret".

Discipline is not a scary word. [Pic]

3. Stop multitasking

Contrary to popular beliefs, multitasking is in fact one of the main killers of productivity. You may think that you are getting much done. The truth is you are getting many tasks going but badly done. See "Farewell to Multitasking".

2. Be motivated

You need motivation not just for spring cleaning but everything else you do everyday. It is easy to feel unmotivated and you would need to know how to refuel. See "Get Your Daily Motivation".

1. Cheer up

Finally, if you are feeling down and can't get started, you need to fight the G Force and get up. You don't have much time left. See "Get Yourself a "Cheer Up' First Aid Kit".

Multitasking is not a good idea. [Pic]

Most importantly, do away with the need for spring cleaning. Keep your house clutter-free and buy only what you need. That makes daily cleaning easy and there will be less need, or better still, no need for an annual spring cleaning.

Let's welcome the Dragon Year with a set of new habits.

Other similar articles:

"It's Time to Chill Out, Not Stress Out"

"The Power of Habit"

"The Power of Small Steps"

"Up Your 'Feel Good Factor'"

"To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing." (Eva Young)

10 Life Lessons from Dad

p [Pic]

Everyone teaches me something. That includes my dad.

Dad was a traditional man, soft-spoken with occasional bursts of temper. Most of his advice and wisdom were not handed to me through direct words. I was sure they were there but I had to decode them. Some of the decoding took awhile, and some, many years later.

He seldom gave straightforward advice such as "You ought to study harder...". Come to think of it, he had never directly acknowledged my academic achievement of any kind. It was as if it would have been too arrogant to do so.

His rare advice in words were cryptic, like "That is not the way". I usually took the heed and tried some other ways to do the same.

Over the years, I realized that he has taught me much, in his own unique ways. Here are some:

Embrace 'now' before it becomes the past. [Pic]

Lesson 1: Everyday is worth celebrating

My dad was never too impressed with special celebrations such as birthdays. To him, 'Everyday in our life exists only once'.

That is so true. Special occasions are indeed special for some reasons. But 'today' will never revisit.

I learnt to embrace 'now'.

Lesson 2: Read widely and wisely

My dad read widely and as a child, I admired his wealth of knowledge. We would discuss anything from history to entertainment.

I remember bringing home a children magazine which was popular among the kids back then. In his usual nonchalant manner, my dad simply said, "It won't teach you much". Since then, I gave little attention to that magazine.

I learnt that some books are worth more than others. Always read something worthy.

Learn to see possibilities.
Not obstacles. [Pic]

Lesson 3: Be observant and see beyond the surface

Occasionally, I followed my dad on his work trips. I would wait patiently while he attended to his business. I knew that some 'mini tours' around the town were next on our agenda.

My dad was not a typical 'tour guide'. He would show me sights that were often overlooked. Once he showed me some barnacles along the river bank and said "They are there all the time but you can only see them during low tides".

Many things are always there but it is really up to us to 'see' them. Very often, we look but we don't see. (read "You Look But You Don't See?")

I learnt to look for 'barnacles' around me.

Lesson 4: Walk into the alleys of life

When I traveled with dad, we walked a lot. It was a good way to feel the place and be close to him. He usually would not stick to the main road and I found myself weaving through alleys and lanes.

I did not like that but I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised by many unusual sights. I would not have seen them on conventional routes.

I learnt to try new 'routes' in life and welcome surprises.

The alleys of life are full of surprises.
Explore them. [Pic]

Lesson 5: Everything has its good side

As a child, I hated my neighbor's dog, Napoleon. He was unfriendly and often terrified me with his hostile approaches. Just to clarify, I loved dogs and I still do. I just did not like Napoleon.

One day, on our way home, my dad brought my attention to a street sign. Sitting there was my most hated dog in his most unusual serene manner. Dad said Napoleon was a faithful dog and would habitually wait for the return of his owner at that time of the day.

Sometimes, we can get so caught up with our initial ideas about a person or something. We forget to see what could be good as well.

I learnt to see the good in people (and dogs too, of course).

Lesson 6: Earn your respect

We lived in a small town and my dad knew many town folks. I could see the respect they gave him and I could see why.

My dad was one of the most unassuming men I know. He was humble even though I knew he was superior to many in numerous ways. He earned his respect through his contributions, not status.

I learnt to earn the respect of others too.

No one owes you a living.
You decide how you live your life. [Pic]

Lesson 7: Don't indulge in negative emotions

My dad was not the most patient man I know. I have seen how he would burst into flames and cause everyone around to be uncomfortable. I did not fully understand why but I am sure he had his reasons.

When we lose our cool, we always find our actions well justified. We give little thoughts to how unhelpful our actions might be. More often than not, some damage is caused.

I learnt that others do not owe me a living and I have no privilege to impose my foul emotions on them.

Lesson 8: Dirty your hands

When I was in Primary (Junior) School, I used to ask dad questions found in my science text books. He would suggest, "Try it out!"

I remember he helped me magnetize a metal pin and we saw how it worked like a compass.

I learnt that life is a lab. I need to do some experiments to learn in it. 

Life is like a lab.
Do some experiments in it. [Pic]

Lesson 9: Parental advice isn’t always correct.

My dad did not know everything. He taught me what he knew but he might miss the point.

He had a certain way of learning a language and he believed that was good for me too. I was not gaining much mileage under his guidance.

We have different learning styles and I learnt not to copy learning approaches from others blindly. 

Lesson 10: Don't hold back

We were saddened by dad's untimely demise. I have always wondered what more he could teach me if he had been around awhile longer.

The answers will never be known.

I learnt that life is short. So say what you want to say and do what you want to do, now.

Everyday is the right day to celebrate. [Pic]

Today is not Father's Day and why am I writing this? Just like what I have learnt from Dad, everyday is worth celebrating. Don't wait till the next Father's Day to celebrate who your father is, or was.

You might want to read up more dad blogs.

"Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance." ~Ruth E. Renkel~

What Happened to Your New Year Resolution?

2011 is ending in about 70 days.
Have you made good your new year resolution? [Pic]

Before the start of this year, I shared My New Year Resolution.

Many of you would have made new year resolutions at that time too. In fact, you may have done so year after year. Right now, we have about 70 more days to the end of 2011. Have you made good what you have set out to do yet?

Hang on a moment, I think I heard some people saying "What was my resolution again?".

One of the most common reasons for failure
is the failure to plan. [Pic]

Most do not meet their goals

If you have forgotten about your resolution or eventually fail to meet your goals, you are not alone. Experts say that new year resolutions are doomed to failure and 78% would have failed in their plans.

One of the most common reasons for failure is the failure to plan.

Many new year resolutions are ambitious but simplistic. They lack execution plans and do not spell any start or end point. For example, if you shouted out loud on January 1st 2011 that you wanted to quit smoking, you were not making a plan. You were merely making a wish.

You need real discipline to make
good your resolutions. [Pic]

Is your resolution a mere cliché?

Take a look at a top-ten new year resolution list. Usually, you will find personal health and wellness on the list. Many people make these new year resolutions year after year. It makes us wonder why they would ceremoniously make the same one without realizing that they have been missing it for years.

You need discipline, not mood swings

To make good your resolution, you need discipline, real discipline. Winners take discipline as a tool to guide their performance. However, most people see it as a chore, a painful chore.

The bad news is that discipline can be painful. However, the good news is, you can practice so that the pain lessens or goes away.

See Choose Your Pain: Discipline or Regret

What you think is what you get. [Pic]

Your thoughts drive your actions

What you do is a result of what you think. If you think negatively and always gravitate towards the downside of things, you will find yourself there most of the time.

In order to shape a positive mindsets, you would have to learn to do positive self-dialog. Each time you talk to yourself, you are in fact asking and answering a series of questions. The questions you ask and the answers you give go into your brain in a similar way how a programmer puts computing rules in a computer. Your actions and behaviors depend on how you have been programmed.

Say "I am doomed to fail" repeatedly, you would. Say "I am sure I will overcome it", you would too.

See Self Dialog: Look Who's Talking?

Get back on track each time you
derail. There will be obstacles [Pic]

Be honest with yourself

Let's face it, making a resolution does not magically make you lose 5 kgs. You would have to work on it. While doing so, you may constantly face difficulties and distractions. While I have suggested working on your discipline, I did not say you have to drive yourself up the wall.

Do expect to derail along the way. What is important is to come back on track. Set your mind to your end point and keep going. Sprinting may give you a good speed but you will lose steam before you get far. Taking consistent small steps can be more powerful.

See The Power of Small Steps.

The journey of change continues. [Pic]

The last lap

You have 70 more days to the end of the year. It is never too late to start working on what you have set out to do.

70 days is not enough? Who says you can't have more?

Your plan need not be compartmentalized by artificial time line. If it is more realistic to have more than 70 days, give yourself that. Start working on it today. Since when you always have to start on January 1st and complete by December 31st? Time is seamless.

My new year resolution was to have none. What I really meant was I will make a commitment to change whenever and wherever, not just at the start of the year.

Forgotten your resolution? Fret not, you can generate new ones. Nay, just kidding.

"Work is hard. Distractions are plentiful. And time is short." ~Adam Hochschild~