Say No to 'Not Saying No'

1st step: Ask, why you don't say 'no'?. [pic]

How often do you say 'Yes' when you really mean 'No'? Are you doing so at the expense of yourself?

I guess these could be some of your reasons:

• You want to please.
• You don't like conflicts.
• You see 'saying-no' as being rude.
• You don't want someone to think less of you.
• You want to help.
• You hate to disappoint.
• You fear losing the opportunity.

2nd step: Say, "It's OK to say 'no'". [pic]

You need to change your mindset about agreeing to everything. Saying 'no' is about respecting your own time and space. Saying 'no' won't get you into trouble but the way you say it might.

When should you say 'no?

1. When your plate is too full

You do not want to tip the balance. If you keep accepting one task after another, you are going to start showing your inability to do your best.  Stretching yourself too thin is not good for yourself and those you intend to help.

2. When it is against your value or belief

You are not obliged to help every other cause on earth. Others don't expect you to do so too.

3. When you are not in the position to help

Give the matter a fair assessment. You may not be the best person to accept the task. Be ready to say 'no' and help the requester by giving alternatives.

3rd step: When to say 'no'. [pic]

Dos and don'ts

1. Do not feel guilty

Think of it as doing yourself and others a favor. Taking on too much and not doing your best is not a responsible act. If you decline to donate to a cause you do not support, others can understand. Surely you have the right to decide what to do with your time and money.

2. Be honest

Out of desperation, you may be tempted to come up with excuses. Don't! You may call them 'white lies' but lies are lies. Besides, your ill-designed excuses may land you in trouble if it is later found out that they are untrue.

3. Be polite

Saying 'no' does not mean being hostile. Say it sincerely and thank the requester for considering your involvement.

4th step: How to say 'no'. [pic]

4. Offer alternatives

You may not be the only person who can execute the task. Consider someone else who can benefit from the additional exposure. Check with him or her and if it is appropriate, suggest their names as alternatives.

5. Be persistent

Some requesters do not take 'no' for an answer. You would need to stay firm towards such unreasonable behaviors. If you do not draw your own boundary, you can't blame others for encroaching on your space.

6. Give yourself time

When an immediate answer is not required, allow yourself some time to consider the matter before you decline. When you eventually say 'no', the initial impact on the requester would have been much cushioned.

5th step: Don't abuse your right to say 'no'. [pic]

Finally, saying 'no' doesn't mean not saying 'yes'. Don't make 'saying-no' a habit and use it to wriggle out of situations you ought to face. If you say 'no' because you procrastinate, you are missing the point.

Be genuine. You want to do your best at all times. Saying 'no' is not a strategy to skive.

Let's sum it up in 5 steps:
1. Find out why you don't say 'no'.
2. Tell yourself it is OK to say 'no'.
3. Know when to say 'no'.
4. Learn how to say 'no.
5. Don't abuse your right to say 'no'.

Related articles:
"Don't be a People Pleaser".

"Procrastination is Best Left Till Tomorrow" 

"Don't raise your voice; improve your argument." (Desmond Tutu)

Keep Dreaming, Babe!

'Stop Daydreaming' is not a good advice. [Pic]

I daydream a lot and I feel guilty at times.

I have my fair share of "Stop Dreaming" from concerned and irate teachers. I grew up thinking that, daydreaming is bad. 

The truth is, there is no need to be so apologetic about it. I come to realize that.

Here are my reasons why daydreaming is not necessarily a bad thing. You have my full permission to daydream as you run down the list:

8. You can't avoid it

Psychologists estimates that we daydream naturally and we do so up to half the time during our waking hours. You either let it ruin you or make good use of it.

Manage stress. Take a short 'vacation'. [Pic]

7. Relax and cope

Daydreaming helps you to cope with the harsh reality. Didn't you feel good taking that five-minute 'vacation' in your mind while you were studying for tests?

6. Up productivity

It sounds like an oxymoron but believe it, daydreaming can improve productivity. Take a short break and let your dull mind wander. See how a recharged mind can improve your mood. Go back to your chores and you will find yourself completing them within a shorter time.

5. Relieve boredom

Escape to a more exciting place when you are doing some boring routines such as driving through a traffic jam or chopping onions. The same can be done during some unproductive meetings.

Get fresh ideas with free-flowing minds. [Pic]

4. Get new ideas

You can achieve anything in your dream, I mean, daydream. Let your mind bring you to the level you hope to attain and see new ideas emerging as you weave through your dreams.

3. Do it again, this time correctly

We make mistakes. Instead of brooding over it and feeling sorry, try daydreaming. Bring your mind back to the scene and see how you could have done it differently.

2. Be totally yourself

We live a rather measured life in the real world. We control what we say and do. When you daydream, you are totally free to be who you would like to be. Amaze yourself with some of the hidden talents you might have. 

1. Find 'eureka moments'

Sometimes you need a breakthrough and need to see things from a totally new perspective. Your wandering mind might just be your ride to the answer.

For creativity, your mind needs to wander. [Pic]

Daydreaming is not for all situations. I hope you know that. All I am saying here is that they are not entirely bad. Before I wrote this article, I had my moments of daydreaming, just to think of what to write.

The next time you daydream, write down your ideas before they dissipate into thin air. You will never know, something big may be coming your way.

Keep dreaming!

Similar article

"The Power of Doodling"  

"You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'" (George Bernard Shaw)

Are You A Good Conversationalist?

No one is an island. You need to hone the art of conversation. [Pic]

Even Robinson Crusoe finds the need to converse with someone. He has Friday.

We are gregarious creatures and we need to interact with others. However, not everyone finds holding a conversation easy. Some would rather avoid it as much as possible. Why?

Taken from Wikipedia, 'conversation' is explained as "interactive, more-or-less spontaneous, communication between two or more conversants." The word 'spontaneous' makes conversation potentially challenging.

You do not usually 'prepare' a conversation the way you would with a speech. More often than not, the going is spontaneous. That is to be the problem faced by those who find holding a conversation trying, especially if spontaneity is not their forte.

A conversation is not about having many
concurrent monologues. [Pic]

Let's look at some simple rules to improve your conversation skills:

12. Have a conversation, not a speech

If you would rather talk about yourself and not let anyone else have a chance, give a speech instead. Sometimes, there may be less active participants in the group. You can choose to 'invite' them by asking questions such as, "So, how was your vacation last week?".

11. Involve everyone

Everyone within the group should be active, contributing to the conversation. You should not dominate. Neither should you be passive. Constantly check yourself against the participation level of other members. Whenever you find yourself talking too much or too little, tune your involvement level.

10. Ask questions

Questions can ignite a conversation, making it lively. Simple questions such as "What do you think..?", "What is your favorite..?" can nudge everyone to say something. However, go easy on your questions. It is a conversation that you are a holding, not interrogation.

Use colorful and vibrant words to
liven up conversation. [Pic]

9. Choose your words

A good conversationalist makes good use of descriptive and vibrant words. Use words that help others visualise and feel. Saying that your experience was a 'bad' one is certainly not as lively as saying it was "nerve-wrecking.". See "Choose Your Words".

8. Avoid using jargon or being pompous

Big words are not necessarily impressive, unless you shower them on your English teachers. Use easily understood words and avoid being too technical. Save your jargons for conversations with people in the same fraternity.

Be simple. Be understood. People have been saying "I love you" for centuries". They do not say "I am immensely infatuated by you" for obvious reasons. See "Don't Be A Jargon Junky".

7. Choose appropriate topics

Unless everyone in the group is a fan of Luciano Pavarotti, don't keep going on and on about how you love operas. Choose everyday topics instead. It doesn't mean that you have to confine yourself to talk about the weather. In Singapore, talking about food and shopping can't go very wrong.

In any conversation, you need active listening. [Pic]

6. Listen

Listening to someone is more than just holding back you interruption. You need to be attentive and acknowledge what is being said along the way. If you start to wander off and worry about when you can pick up your kids, you will lose yourself in the conversation. At times, it can be embarrassing.

I wrote about 'active listening' in "Listen! It's Been A Year!". Take a look.

5. Do some homework

If you are meeting someone for the first time, it is a good idea to find out more about him first. You can find out from common acquaintance or get information in the public domain. However, you might not want to be over zealous in showing how much you know about him. It can be creepy and he may think that you have been stalking him. Use the information you know as conversation starter instead. If you found out on social networks that he likes scuba diving, you can ask him if he is into any sports. Let him tell you about scuba diving, not the other way round.

4. Move around

If you are having conversations at social gatherings, move around and mingle with different groups of people. Learning how to cut into a group is part of the social skills you need to acquire. A simple starter such as "Hey! I see that you have something interesting to say about the latest..." would usually earn you the 'right' to join a new conversation group.

You can revive a stalled conversation by
revisiting earlier topics. [Pic]

3. Run out of things to say? Don't panic!

You don't have to feel awkward when where is a prolonged silence in the group. All you have to do is to revisit what was conversed earlier and ask some questions relating to those topics. Say something like "I was thinking about what you said earlier...". Very often, the group would end up starting a new conversation topic. Alternatively, you can scan around the room, pick up some objects and strike a conversation with them. After asking "I wonder who would pay for something like that?", the group should be ready to jump in and start the conversation anew.

2. Be constructive and positive

You do not have to agree with everyone all the time. But, do offer alternative views in a constructive and respectful way. Remember, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If you are perceived as someone forceful in personal opinion, the other people may find the conversation daunting.

1. Have a graceful exit

All great conversations will come to an end. Do not just walk away. End it with a positive note by saying something such as "It has been enlightening talking to you" or "I hope to catch up with you sometime. See you again".

Conversation can be tough when dealing
with difficult people. [Pic]

Be prepared for difficult conversation

I would not want to make the art of conversation sound overly simplistic. The truth is, some conversations can be very stressful causing much anxiety. Having a conversation with someone who is unreasonable, dishonest, hostile or emotionally wrecked is not fun. In social settings, we can afford to avoid such conversations altogether. However, in life, one needs to survive difficult conversations sometimes, at home or at work. I won't cover much here (maybe another time) but I will leave some references at the end of this article.

Even if you think you generally have little difficulties holding a conversation, you might have some 'bad habits' that you aren't aware of. Take some time to reflect over the above pointers and refine your skills. For those who find it tough to enjoy a conversation, you just have to start doing it. It will get easier.

I will end here by leaving you with some references to help you handle difficult conversations:

• Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
• Failure to Communicate: How Conversations Go Wrong and What You Can Do to Right Them
• Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
• How to Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding: With Your Spouse, Adult Child, Boss, Coworker, Best Friend, Parent, or Someone You're Dating

"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." ~Dorothy Nevill~

Up Your Patience Quotient

Patience can be learned. [Pic]

I admit I need to be more patient. Don't we all?

As a rather impatient person, I could almost hear myself saying "I want to learn to be more patient ... QUICKLY". My usual defence to that oxymoronic statement would be 'so much to do with so little time'. But look, that is not an excuse to indulge in any acts of impatience.

There are many reasons why we may snap at one time or another. Mostly, it is about disparity between expectation and reality. When we think something should have taken place and it does not, a tension builds up inside us. When that tension goes beyond our threshold, we snap.

Anger is the worst negative emotions.  [Pic]

I have been working on being patient for quite a while and I still slip up. The good thing is that the number of occurrence has reduced. I took a test and found myself barely cross the passing point. More practice will certainly do me good.

If you are also thinking of how you can raise your patience quotient, these tips can help:

10. Check your triggers

In the next two weeks, note those times you get that sense of impatience and identify the triggers. Is it the physical discomfort? Is it the use of certain phrase? Is it the mention of certain events? Once your are able to recognize what might ignite you, you work out alternative actions.

9. Accept others

Everyone is different and you should stop comparing yourself to others. Just remember that you may not fully understand what is going on with the other people. Learn to see things from their perspectives.

Problems, when put in perspective,
are more manageable. [Pic]

8. Be realistic

It is good to be ambitious but it is not good if ambition is pursued with unrealistic optimism. Aim for something in a distance but map out realistic intermediate goals. Remember that things take time and some simply cannot be hurried.

7. Look at the bigger picture

It is easy to snap simply based on what is before your eyes. When someone keeps you waiting for an hour and all you can think of is how upset you have been. You forget that you have invested years, building a trusting relationship with the person. Learn to remember what matters and be kind towards others and be grateful for what you have.

Being critical and being negative are not the same. [Pic]

6. Keep negativity in check

We tend be more sensitive towards flaws and give them too much unproportionate attention. Check those times you behave in a negative and non-constructive manner. Instead, learn to be critical and objective. There is a difference between being critical and being negative.

5. Be flexible

A plan is merely there to guide you and things do not always work out as planned. When that happens, change your plan rather than curse at the unexpected circumstances. Jimmy Dean has this to say and he is right: "I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

4. Take a deep breath

A few deep breath is all you need for an instant sense of relaxation. That would give you enough time to evaluate rather than react. Once you get a better sense of direction, you can decide on a better course of action. Making yourself stressed is definitely not helpful in anyway.

Many problems we see today won't matter
in 10 years' time. [pic]

3. Slow down

You may lose your patience when you have too much in your plate. Check your to-do list. Chances are you are putting undue emphasis on less important tasks. Some things can be set aside now without much long term implication. Who is going to be grievously affected if you have not bought that crate of eggs? When things do not work out, ask yourself this question "is this going to matter in 10 years' time?" (See "Mistakes in Dealing with Mistakes")

2. Remember what is more important

If your child were to be late for school on a typical day, it certainly won't affect his life time academic pursuit. However, if you snap at him, his childhood experience may be a shade darker. He may not remember what you say but he is likely to remember how you have made him feel. Take note that most inconveniences you experience are minuscule compared to the more important things in life.

1. Keep practicing

Finally, just like any other skills, being patient requires lots of practice. Each time you get that rushed feelings, remind yourself that you are getting an opportunity to practise your patience. When a situation is viewed as an opportunity rather than an adversity, you would tend not to fight back.

"Patience can't be acquired overnight. It is just like building up a muscle. Every day you need to work on it." ~ Eknath Easwaran

You are in better situations than many others,
you just have to remember that. [Pic]

At any one time, there are more reasons to be grateful then to snap at anything or anyone. There are many people who wish that they are in your position. You have lots that many don't. One thing I am sure, you are literate while there are one billion illiterate people out there who wish they were like you.

Embrace the power of NOW. What has happened has happened and it would be pointless dealing with the past. If you want the future to look different, your only chance is NOW.

You can improve the world you live in by simply changing your perspectives.

"The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it." ~ Arnold H. Glasgow ~

You Are in a Top Ten List

Motivate yourself with your very own
personal 'top 10' lists [Pic]

I see 'Top 10' of everything and anything everywhere.

When a top 10 list of any kind is drawn up, it instantly earns some unexplained authority and respect. It can become so believable that it is unbelievable.

Sometimes, I like to goof around in Top Tenz just to be amazed by the weirdest kind of top 10 lists. Who would have thought of coming up with "Top 10 Ant Enemies" or "Top 10 Feral Children"? So bizarre.

YOG 2010 mascots, Lyo & Merly [Pic]

I chanced upon "Top 10 Worst Olympic Mascots" and I just had to check it out. I wanted to know if Lyo and Merly, our mascots for the 1st Youth Olympics (2010, Singapore) were in it. They were not simply because the list was compiled in 2008. But then again, why should the opinion of the contributor matter at all to me? 

There you go, I was lured by the charm of 'top 10' simply because someone said those are in the top 10.

The magic of 'top 10' does not stop there. You can use the 'top 10' phenomenon in your personal life too and see how it boosts your motivation and confidence. When you draw up a list, be sure to label it positively. "My top 10 favorite childhood friends" is definitely more helpful than "My top 10 most hated neighbors".

A positive personal 'top 10' list can change
your life perspectives. [Pic]

When you draw up your own positive 'top 10' lists, you would consciously remind yourself of all the good things you once had or still have. You would begin to feel grateful that your life is filled with goodness. Your attention is then drawn to people and things that encourage you and your mind is free from unhelpful self condemnation (albeit temporarily). In a way, 'top 10' list can be used as a tool to recharge.

Here are 10 examples of useful 'top 10' list you can compile:

1. "My top 10 sweet childhood memories"
2. "My top 10 favorite teachers"
3. "My top 10 most inspiring persons in my life"
4. "My top 10 moments I feel most proud of"
5. "My top 10 mistakes I have avoided"
6. "My top 10 inspiring movies I have watched"
7. "My top 10 lessons learned in life"
8. "My top 10 public figures I admire"
9. "My top 10 decisions I am glad I have made"
10. "My top 10 favorite quotes"

To wrap up, I shall share "My top 10 reasons for telling you the usefulness of top 10 list" ...

Because I want you to know that:

10. You should not just believe in any top 10 list.

9. Top 10 list can be lame or insightful, so go for the latter.

8. You can have your own personal top 10 lists.

7. You can use your void time and draw up a personal top 10 list.

... and if your personal top 10 list is crafted positively, it

6. can motivate you.

5. can be a powerful life enhancement tool.

4. can be shared to inspire someone.

3. can be your route to realize the power of gratitude

2. can shape your life perspectives

... most importantly,

1. You are top 10 in many ways and you just have not noticed.

All of us are winners in our own right. [Pic]

All of us are winners in our own right. However, we often make ourselves losers simply by choosing to think like one. Phrases such as "I will never gonna make it" and "I am good for nothing" are poisons to our minds. Be careful not to let them creep in your head.

Why not start drawing up your very first 'top 10' list that goes "My top 10 reasons why I am a winner"? I hope one of the reasons is ..."because I choose to read this article" and I hope it has helped you.

You might also want to read:

Sometimes, I Forget...
How to Kill Your Motivation?
How to Feel Better When Feeling Battered ? 

You Are Your Worst Enemy
Ten Things That Inspire Me

"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." ~ Carlos Castaneda

Get Yourself a "Cheer Up' First Aid Kit

How do you handle your moments of blues? [Pic]

Last week was a rather trying one for me.

Nothing unusual actually happened. However, there are times when all the planets are aligned, you feel a stronger gravity of life testing your endurance.

Such moments are commonly experienced. Many people would naturally indulge themselves in personal rants. Unfortunately, bitching around isn't the smartest thing to do. It may look like you are erasing your blues or lightening your stress. But, as soon as your ranting stops, you find yourself retreating back to your moody self.

It is alright to experience blues but it is not alright not knowing how to handle such moments. Friends would say "Cheer Up!" but few would tell you what that really means.

"CHEER UP!", is it really easier
said than done? [Pic]

My suggestion is that you prepare a "Cheer Up" first aid kit. Just like the one in your cabinet, this 'first aid kit' should contain a slew of reliefs and treatments. You wouldn't want to start looking for bandages after you get a cut. Be ready.

The next time your are having a down moment, a bad day or a moody week, turn to your carefully prepared kit and get some help. However, if you need more than temporary or symptomatic reliefs, turn to the professionally trained people for help. You probably need to do more than just 'cheering up'.

Here are some of the stuff I have in my "Cheer Up" first aid kit. Prepare one for yourself: 

1. Listen to favorite music. [See 'Music : My Multivites']
2. Sip a good cup of coffee. [See 'Not For The Insomniac' and 'Caffeinism? Nay!']
3. Take a deep breath.
4. Write with pen and paper.
5. Go for a night swim.

Dark chocolate: The happy food. [Pic]

6. Have some dark chocolates.
7. Read a few inspiring quotes.
8. Whip out my camera and shoot some pictures.
9. Write down three things I have done well.
10. Complete something on my to-do-list.

Watching little children play can be therapeutic. [Pic]

11. Watch little children play.
12. Listen to a moving TED speech.
13. Think of something positive and go over it several times. [See 'You Are Your Worst Enemy']
14. Visit my favorite restaurant.

15. Watch my favorite MTVs.

House cat Oreo. [Pic]

16. Pat our house cats.

17. Read an inspiring story. [see 'The Last Lecture']
18. Think of three good things that happened in the last 24 hours.
19. Say 'thank you' to someone who has been helpful to me. [See 'Sometimes, I Forget...']
20. Watch a happy movie.

Take a walk. Doing some light exercises
can improve your mood.  [Pic]

21. Take a long relaxing walk in the park.

22. Help someone in need.
23. Make someone laugh.
24. Play a musical instrument.
25. Doodle something humorous. 

"Tough times never last,
but tough people do." ~ Robert Shuller [Pic]

My list can go on but the point here is to show you how a 'cheer up' first aid kit may look like. You may find some of the items in my kit useful but you should customize one. If you have a dog, you can add 'Walk my dog' and if you find short naps helpful then pack in "Take 40 winks". How about "Read a gripping novel" and "Go through photos of happy moments"? The idea is not a sophisticated one and I am sure you are well able to draw up your own list.

Constantly review the usefulness of the items and find better 'treatment' to be included. You would have noticed that most of the stuff in the kit cost you very little or nothing at all. I did not say you have to walk down a shopping street looking for Hermès. In fact, material things are seldom effective as a cure.

The next time the going gets tough, just turn to your 'cheer up' first aid kit. Don't bitch around.

You might also want to read:
How to Feel Better When Feeling Battered ?
The More The Merrier?

"Troubles are inevitable but misery is optional." ~Joel Osteen~

Go Ahead, Criticize Me

Did you just criticize me? [Pic]

Have you ever regretted asking someone "What do you think?"

Such a question is meant to invite comments but very often you are not prepared for what you are about to hear. We like to know the truth and get an honest opinion of ourselves. Yet, we are afraid to take criticism. The fear usually gets the better of us and we rather forgo the truth.

Most of us deal with criticism in a defensive way. Sometimes, we may even lash at the person who did nothing wrong other than telling the truth. In doing so, we are missing out something really big.

Criticism, when taken in the right light, can open up a brand new perspective. It is never easy on our ears but it is almost always useful. The thing we really need to learn is 'how to accept criticism with grace and appreciation'.

Sugarcoated words are not
necessarily useful. [Pic]

Here are some of my thoughts:

8. Get the idea right

The first thing you need to do is to convince yourself that criticism is a good thing. Our minds are often trained to resist bad things. You would need to undo that. Once you get this right, you will find yourself soliciting for more criticisms and thus benefiting greatly from them.

Sugarcoated words are not necessarily useful.

7. Kick the habits

Just like any other behaviors, the way we take criticism depends on our habits. Check and reflect on how you would normally react towards criticism. Do you interrupt? Do you raise your voice? Do you sneer? 

Kick those bad habits.

Criticism does not have to be painful. [Pic]

6. Don't take criticism personally

It hurts to hear bad things being said about you and no one enjoys that. However, if you learn to detach, you feel less awful. Just imagine that the critic is giving his opinion about someone else and ask yourself what the criticized person can do to avoid those comments.

Criticism does not have to be painful.

5. Get the real meaning behind those words

It is common to feel upset (sometimes for days) upon receiving criticism. That is because you allow the words to replay in your head and give them an emotional response. Instead, focus on the true meaning of the criticism and ask yourself questions such as "What is the one thing I can learn from that comment?" In that way, you will pay more attention to what you can do rather than how you should feel.

Be logical, not emotional.

You can always find the positive in criticism. [Pic]

4. Negate the Negatives

You can find the positive in criticism. You always can. Rewrite any negative sentences and they will all sound positive. For example, you can turn "You always state the obvious as if I am a moron!" into "I need to improve the way I explain so that he understands the significance of what I have to share."

The usefulness of criticism depends on how you look at it.

3. You are not always right

Our pride can kill. We can be so defensive of our rightness that we are dead convinced that the critic is making a big mistake. In accepting criticism, you do not have to swallow all your pride and feel insignificant. All you have to do is ask yourself questions such as "What could have been the one thing that I might be wrong about?". Such a question can help you slowly re-examine your own flaws without losing your confidence.

Self-doubt does have its side-effects too.

View criticism as opportunities to learn. [Pic]

2. Learn to filter

Criticisms are often bundled with harsh and rude words. These are the words that hurt the most but help the least. You would have to learn to filter them. For example, you can filter "You are such an idiot! Why can't you just get the project going?" into "Why can't you just get the project going?". After that, negate the negatives and rephrase it as "I have to find more effective ways to manage the project."

Don't let unhelpful words reduce the goodness of criticism.

1. Say 'thank you'

It sounds odd but this can help you accept criticism. After what might seem like a nasty round of belittling, thank the critic. Very often, your unexpected behavior can help to soften his approach and make him more objective. After criticizing how awful your writing has been, he might just add on by saying "Actually, you have great substance. You just have to polish your language."

Your act of appreciation can be humbling, for you and the critic.

Criticism is like dark chocolate. Once you get used
to its bitterness, it can actually taste good. [Pic]

Finally, a quick recap...

Criticism is good stuff when taken constructively. Let it help you discover yourself and create some room for improvement. Stay positive and accept criticism with grace and appreciation. Stay on top of things, focus on the 'do' and not the 'feel'.

When it comes to criticism, let your brain rule, not your heart.

"Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing" ~Aristotle~