Monday, April 4, 2011

Up Your Patience Quotient

Patience can be learned. [Pic]

I admit I need to be more patient. Don't we all?

As a rather impatient person, I could almost hear myself saying "I want to learn to be more patient ... QUICKLY". My usual defence to that oxymoronic statement would be 'so much to do with so little time'. But look, that is not an excuse to indulge in any acts of impatience.

There are many reasons why we may snap at one time or another. Mostly, it is about disparity between expectation and reality. When we think something should have taken place and it does not, a tension builds up inside us. When that tension goes beyond our threshold, we snap.

Anger is the worst negative emotions.  [Pic]

I have been working on being patient for quite a while and I still slip up. The good thing is that the number of occurrence has reduced. I took a test and found myself barely cross the passing point. More practice will certainly do me good.

If you are also thinking of how you can raise your patience quotient, these tips can help:

10. Check your triggers

In the next two weeks, note those times you get that sense of impatience and identify the triggers. Is it the physical discomfort? Is it the use of certain phrase? Is it the mention of certain events? Once your are able to recognize what might ignite you, you work out alternative actions.

9. Accept others

Everyone is different and you should stop comparing yourself to others. Just remember that you may not fully understand what is going on with the other people. Learn to see things from their perspectives.

Problems, when put in perspective,
are more manageable.

8. Be realistic

It is good to be ambitious but it is not good if ambition is pursued with unrealistic optimism. Aim for something in a distance but map out realistic intermediate goals. Remember that things take time and some simply cannot be hurried.

7. Look at the bigger picture

It is easy to snap simply based on what is before your eyes. When someone keeps you waiting for an hour and all you can think of is how upset you have been. You forget that you have invested years, building a trusting relationship with the person. Learn to remember what matters and be kind towards others and be grateful for what you have.

Being critical and being negative are not the same. [Pic]

6. Keep negativity in check

We tend be more sensitive towards flaws and give them too much unproportionate attention. Check those times you behave in a negative and non-constructive manner. Instead, learn to be critical and objective. There is a difference between being critical and being negative.

5. Be flexible

A plan is merely there to guide you and things do not always work out as planned. When that happens, change your plan rather than curse at the unexpected circumstances. Jimmy Dean has this to say and he is right: "I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

4. Take a deep breath

A few deep breath is all you need for an instant sense of relaxation. That would give you enough time to evaluate rather than react. Once you get a better sense of direction, you can decide on a better course of action. Making yourself stressed is definitely not helpful in anyway.

Many problems we see today won't matter
in 10 years' time.

3. Slow down

You may lose your patience when you have too much in your plate. Check your to-do list. Chances are you are putting undue emphasis on less important tasks. Some things can be set aside now without much long term implication. Who is going to be grievously affected if you have not bought that crate of eggs? When things do not work out, ask yourself this question "is this going to matter in 10 years' time?" (See "Mistakes in Dealing with Mistakes")

2. Remember what is more important

If your child were to be late for school on a typical day, it certainly won't affect his life time academic pursuit. However, if you snap at him, his childhood experience may be a shade darker. He may not remember what you say but he is likely to remember how you have made him feel. Take note that most inconveniences you experience are minuscule compared to the more important things in life.

1. Keep practicing

Finally, just like any other skills, being patient requires lots of practice. Each time you get that rushed feelings, remind yourself that you are getting an opportunity to practise your patience. When a situation is viewed as an opportunity rather than an adversity, you would tend not to fight back.

"Patience can't be acquired overnight. It is just like building up a muscle. Every day you need to work on it." ~ Eknath Easwaran

You are in better situations than many others,
you just have to remember that.

At any one time, there are more reasons to be grateful then to snap at anything or anyone. There are many people who wish that they are in your position. You have lots that many don't. One thing I am sure, you are literate while there are one billion illiterate people out there who wish they were like you.

Embrace the power of NOW. What has happened has happened and it would be pointless dealing with the past. If you want the future to look different, your only chance is NOW.

You can improve the world you live in by simply changing your perspectives.

"The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it." ~ Arnold H. Glasgow ~

Stumble Upon Toolbar

1 comment:

Marriage Quotes said...

You...are...awesome! This blog is so great. I really hope more people read this and get what you're saying, because let me tell you, its important stuff.