Sunday, November 18, 2012

How To Be A Boring Person

Are you living in the Kingdom of The Bore? [Pic]

How to be a boring person? I assure you it is not difficult.

Before I go further, take this quick question: On a scale of 1 to 10, "1" being "I am totally exciting to be with" and 10 being "I am a true blue bore", give yourself a rating. 

Let me show you how you can work yourself towards the pinnacle of being a totally boring person. Check it out:

15. Stay Uninformed

We are in an era of 'information overload'. Be kind and don't kill yourself. You don't have to know what is going on.  

14. Don't bother taking care of yourself

Go ahead and eat and drink yourself silly. After all, you only live once. Who has time for exercise?

13. Watch lots of soap opera

Oh yes, those mind-numbing, satirical, slapstick and long-drawn drama. What other better ways to kill time?

12. Be a creature of habit

Make sure you always eat the same food, do the same thing, shop at the same place and talk about the same stuff. Haven't you heard of the phrase "tried and tested"? 

11. Stay indoor

Stay clear from the elements. You wouldn't want to be drenched by the rain or tanned by the sun. Not to mention the wind and the snow, nature can be scary.

Are you a copycat? [Pic]

10. Be totally predictable

Why make it difficult for people around you? Just stay the same all the time. No one needs surprises in life, pleasant or otherwise.
9. Be a copycat

It doesn't pay to be original. If others have done it, just follow (ie copy). Don't waste your time finding new ideas and creating new stuff.

8. Don't participate in any conversation

Be gracious. Let others talk about anything they want. In turn, you would just talk about yourself. It won't go wrong and you stand no chance in offending anyone. 
7. Stay with your same old friends

They know you so well and you can continue to be yourself. There is no need to worry about social etiquette and they will love you just the same even if your right sock is pulled higher than the other. New friends are hard to come by. Don't even try.

6. Stay serious 

Jokes can be funny but they can also be dangerously offensive. Don't be goofy.

Sit on the fence. It is safer. [Pic]

5. Be a fence-sitter

Wouldn't it be safe to just stay neutral? You would offend no one. Let others make the decision and you stay agreeable. Everyone will love you for never saying 'No' to them.

4. Don't ask questions

Questions are dangerous. You may stumble on a taboo topic. Play safe and don't even ask questions such as "how is your day?" or "do you keep pets?"

3. Don't change your views

Be consistent. If others offer differing perspectives, stay firm. Don't be swayed by new ideas. Old wisdom is the best.

2. Don't read

Haven't you done enough of that in school? Who needs to read once college days are over? 

1. Don't learn new stuff

I am sure you are already good at your job. Keep it that way and there is no need to learn anything new. You wouldn't want to be a Jack of all trade and a master of none. After all, things are changing so fast nowadays, why bother to chase after them?

Check your 'Boring Index'. Bring it down. [Pic]

You didn't think I was serious, did you?

Seriously, am I describing you in any way? If you find yourself scoring high as a boring person, it is time to take stock of your life. I know it is not criminal to be a bore but you would rather not spend your one and only lifetime being one.

I wouldn't.

Check out articles under the Motivation label. They might help you bring down your 'boring index' to a healthier level.

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