|When you have low self esteem, you do not realize |
that you are better than you think you are. [Pic]
Self esteem is your opinion of yourself.
It is important to have a decent level of self esteem. It affects your attitude towards life and eventually the quality of your life.
Regardless of your station in life, your self esteem is capable of dipping. It does not matter what family background you have, which school you attended, what position you hold, which man/woman you marry, how much you have in your bank account and which land you live in, you are susceptible.
The good news is, you are your own architect who can build your own self esteem. You do not necessarily need help from others.
The bad news is, no one but you can pull yourself up from your low point. Others, at best, can bring you closer.
|Ask: "How do I feel about who I am?" [Pic]|
Why are we having problems with self esteem?
When you feel less worthy, you tend to focus on causes which make you feel that way. You shift your blames to anything and everything you can find around you: your teachers, your parents, your employers, your neighbors, your government or the society and environment at large.
That is to be the main reason why you find it hard to elevate your self esteem: you are looking in the wrong direction.
The one and only person you have to focus on is yourself. All other matters are but the backdrops of your life.
|Raising self esteem begins with raising self awareness. [Pic]|
What can we do about our self esteem?
I am not spared from having moments of low self esteem. None of us are. What we need to achieve is not a state of perpetual high self esteem. Rather, we need to learn how to bring ourselves up whenever we are down.
Having a healthy level of self esteem means not self hating. However, it does not mean that you have to be narcissistic. It is a balance that is part of the learning.
Your life consists of a potpourri of experiences. The level of your self esteem depends on which part of your life experience you amplify. If you play up bad moments and dismiss good stuff, it is not difficult to understand what emotional state you will get yourself into.
|Your self esteem can go either way. It's up to you. [Pic]|
Let's have some quick pointers to work on:
8. Learn self-dialog
How you talk to yourself affects your level of confidence and happiness. Just like any dialog with another, you learn to use the right tone and the right words when you have self-dialog. See "Self Dialog: Look Who's Talking?"
7. Record your successes
We tend to be swamped by immediate problems and amplify them. In doing so, we forget our moments of success. To make re-counting those positive moments easier, you can maintain a journal of your accomplishments.
|If you let everyone come into your personal space, you would not |
have enough space to attend to your inner feelings. [Pic]
6. Maintain personal boundaries
We need our personal space to nourish our emotional health. You would have to learn to say 'No' and discourage others from encroaching into your space. If you constantly give in to other people's demand, you will grow to dislike yourself. You compromise what you really like and over time, your self esteem suffers.
5. Stop thinking in finite terms
Very often, things do not exist in black or white. Manage your self esteem by learning how to glide on the scale of greyness. Learn to replace "I am a total failure" with "I can be better". Notice that "total failure" is finite while "better" is a matter of relativity.
4. Be fair to yourself
If you magnify your failures and dismiss your strength, your self esteem goes down. Learn to see yourself with a positive lens. See failure as a reference point from which you can move forward. See success as affirmation of your strength.
|Normalcy is a gift. Don't take it for granted. [Pic]|
3. Be a volunteer
You can help and you always can. As a volunteer, you help those in need and at the same time, you help to up your self esteem. One thing for sure, you would be reminded of your own gifts. Normalcy is a gift. Don't take it for granted.
2. Beware of the 'more-is-better' trap
Some people are busy making money for they believe in "The More The Merrier" At some point, after expanding their bank account and material possessions, they wonder why they hit a low point.
The reality is that, the lack of worldly possessions is not the cause of your low self esteem.
1. Keep a healthy lifestyle
Do not ignore your health. If you feel strong and healthy, your self esteem improves. In fact, if you want an instant lift on your self esteem, start exercising and eating healthily.
|No one can make you feel low if you |
do not allow them to. [Pic]
What are the characteristics of a low self esteem person?
Before we end, let's do a quick diagnostic on the state of your self esteem. If you have most of the characteristics below, you need to work on your self esteem:
- Social withdrawal
- Anxiety and emotional turmoil
- Lack of social skills and self confidence
- Depression and/or bouts of sadness
- Less social conformity
- Eating disorders
- Inability to accept compliments
- An inability to be fair to yourself
- Accentuating the negative
- Exaggerated concern over what you imagine other people think
- Self neglect
- Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
- Worrying whether you have treated others badly
- Reluctance to take on challenges
- Reluctance to put yourself first or anywhere
- Reluctance to trust your own opinion
- Expecting little out of life for yourself
|You are a gift but you must first unwrap it before the |
goodness in it can be shown. [Pic]
Your existence is a gift to this world. However, if you do not unwrap the gift, nothing good can be revealed. Self esteem is all about your ability to bring out your strength and appreciate yourself.
If you are not for yourself, who will be for you?
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt~